Bernadette: I'm just saying, Sheldon and Amy deserve to win, and sometimes that means doing what you got to do.
Howard: Don't you think it's better to take the high road?
Bernadette: Yeah, and instead of guns, armies should carry candy canes that shoot wishes.

Raj: We know it wasn't Penny, we know it wasn't Susan-
Howard: Wait. How do we know it wasn't Susan?
Raj: Uh, because she had a type.
Howard: What type?
Raj: Don't make me say it.
Howard: Are you saying I'm not a handsome guy?
Raj: See? It's mean, right?

Leonard: Hey. I thought about what I want to do tonight, and I didn't take your feelings into consideration at all.
Penny: Great.
Leonard: I want to have sex.
Penny: Wow, sex with your wife. You're really swinging for the fences there, Hofstadter.

Leonard: [to Penny] Fine, you want to talk about it? Let's talk about it. I-I'm not loving my job right now. And this is something that would make me happy. Don't you want me to be happy
Sheldon: [to Penny] Oh, I've been dinged on this before. Whatever you really think, you have to say yes.
Penny: [to Leonard] Of course I want you to be happy.
Sheldon: [to Penny] Well played.

Leonard: Um, I picked it. You're the one who told me to stop being such a satisficer all the time.
Sheldon: What? I did not. I just pointed out that you were one. It's what I like best about you. Well, that and those little notes you leave in my lunch.
Amy: I leave those!
Sheldon: Well, that's disappointing. I already know that you heart me. Now I don't know if Leonard does.

Amy: Look, when you wanted Penny, you didn't care what anybody else thought or wanted, including Penny.
Leonard: That's true. Yeah, yeah, there was something I wanted, I went after it and I got it.
Amy: Now you're hiding from it on the stairs, so it all worked out.

Leonard: Okay, if I go in there and pick something I want to do that she also wants to do, she's gonna think I'm just picking it to make her happy. So I feel like I have to pick something I know she doesn't want to do or she's gonna be disappointed. Right? What do you think?
Amy: Think I've got ice cream in this bag that's starting to melt.

Raj: You guys know that Hemingway had cats with six toes?
Penny: Six toes per foot or six toes total?

Penny: Sweetie, you have got to stand up for yourself. You know, maybe Sheldon's right. Maybe you are that word he said.
Leonard: Satisficer?
Penny: Yeah, that! That's the one. Boy, sounds way more made-up when you say it.

Penny: I mean, come on, when was the last time you did something totally selfish without worrying about what anyone else wanted?
Leonard: Uh, according to my mother, I took my sweet time being born.
Penny: How is that selfish?
Leonard: Apparently, she had dinner reservations.

President Siebert: No.
Leonard: I'm sorry, President Siebert, but I'm not taking no for an answer.
President Siebert: I speak a little Russian. Will you take nyet for an answer?
Leonard: I'm serious.
President Siebert: Oh. Well, that changes everything.
Leonard: Really?
President Siebert: Nyet.

Leonard: I think I would've been okay if we weren't sitting so close.
Penny: Well, then, why did we sit so close?
Leonard: Sheldon said, "Are these seats good for everyone?" What was I supposed to do, say no, like a maniac?

Leonard: Oh, the there's a 7:15 at the ArcLight.
Penny: Well, that doesn't give us much time to eat.
Leonard: We can eat afterwards.
Sheldon: I'm not gonna eat at 10:00 at night. Who am I, Hemingway?
Amy: Why do you think Hemingway ate at 10:00?
Sheldon: He spent a lot of time in Spain. They eat dinner late.
Amy: He also spent a lot of time in Florida. Last time I was there, people were eating dinner at, like, 4:30.

Amy: It's fine. We'll have barbecue.
Sheldon: Oh, of course. I'm nothing if not flexible. I'm sure that at some point in the 3,000-year history of the Chinese empire, a cavalryman crossing the Gobi Desert was forced by hunger to eat his own horse and roast it over a campfire, hence, Chinese barbecue.

Amy: Wow. Déjà vu.
Sheldon: Amy, you're a neuroscientist. you know the latest research into déjà vu suggests it's nothing but the frontal regions of the brain attempting to correct an inaccurate memory.
Amy: You telling me stuff I already know is definitely déjà vu.