Raj: Now I'm some sort of big joke. I'm even on some alien conspiracy blog. See? "Caltech astrophysicist finds proof of alien life''
Howard: Wow, that is not a great picture of you.

Leonard: Well, all these years, I-I was afraid to say what I wanted. You know, even at work, you know, there's things I want to accomplish, but I didn't want to ruffle any feathers or step on any toes.
Sheldon: Feathers and toes? Is the new thing you're trying to accomplish ballroom dancing with a chicken? Look at that. The new me is hilarious.

Penny: Let's celebrate. What do you want to do?
Leonard: Oh, please don't make me decide another thing.
Penny: Hey, you want to go to SoulCycle with me?
Leonard: Give me a minute, I'll think of something.

Raj: Well, that's the lecture for today. Uh, let's open it up for questions. Uh- Oh, you! Sir, yes. You have a question?
Howard: Yeah. Actually, I have a two-part question.
Raj: Are you sure? I get the sense it's only one part.
Howard: No, no, it's two. Part one: the new star you were talking about. How long did it take that light to reach Earth? And part two: is it true you plant your friends in the audience to ask questions?
Raj: 46,000 years. And no, I don't plant my friends, because apparently, I don't have any.

Penny: How did it go?
Leonard: Great.
Penny: What, so you got the job?
Leonard: I did not.
Penny: So you quit? Okay, Leonard, I can't move. I just bought a six-month membership to SoulCycle.

Sheldon: Gee, I'm sorry, I didn't watch the news today. Has the whole world gone mad?
Leonard: It's my house. I'm tired of being told where I can and can't sit.
Sheldon: [to Penny] You did this. Amy, grab your meat. We're leaving in a huff.
Amy: I'm sorry, if I don't go now, it's not a huff.

Leonard: Don't take this the wrong way, but that was even more exciting than the sex.
Penny: Don't take this the wrong way, but yes, it was.

Raj: I know a lot of people have been having fun claiming that I said I found alien life. I want to make it clear that is not what I said. I did say that was one possible explanation. I don't think that's something to mock. Right? It would be arrogant for us to assume that we are alone in the universe. And as scientists, we need to remain open to the possibility that the truth may sound silly or far-fetched. Uh, the round Earth. Germs that cause diseases. Subatomic particles. All these at one time seemed fanciful.
So who's to say what science fiction of today will be the reality of tomorrow? Will there be colonies on Mars? Uh, matter transporters? Perhaps the Loch Ness Monster is real.
Who knows? I'm just saying that the only way science moves forward is to follow the evidence wherever it leads, even if it makes us sound crazy sometimes.

Raj: And, with apologies to Lady Gaga, that's how a star is born.
Howard: Told you he was gonna mention Lady Gaga.
Bernadette: At least he didn't talk about how much he cried during that movie.
Raj: Although, if you haven't seen that movie, you should. I cried so much.

Amy: Wow. Déjà vu.
Sheldon: Amy, you're a neuroscientist. you know the latest research into déjà vu suggests it's nothing but the frontal regions of the brain attempting to correct an inaccurate memory.
Amy: You telling me stuff I already know is definitely déjà vu.

Amy: Do I want to ask?
Leonard: Oh, when I go upstairs, Penny's gonna make me choose what we're gonna do tonight without taking her feelings into consideration, and I-I don't know if I'm up for it.
Amy: Poor baby. When I go upstairs, Sheldon's gonna give me a 25-minute lecture about what Hulk would be like if he were made of metal. Part of his ongoing series, "What If Hulk Were Made of Other Things?"

Leonard: I'm just trying to find a plan that makes everyone happy.
Amy: Except you.
Bernadette: Yeah, Leonard. What would make you happy?
Sheldon: I could tell you about satisficing again.
Leonard: You know, what would make me happy is if we just stop talking about this and see whatever movie you guys want to see whenever you want to see it.
Sheldon: Okay. But next time, we get to pick.

Raj: You guys know that Hemingway had cats with six toes?
Penny: Six toes per foot or six toes total?

Leonard: I think I would've been okay if we weren't sitting so close.
Penny: Well, then, why did we sit so close?
Leonard: Sheldon said, "Are these seats good for everyone?" What was I supposed to do, say no, like a maniac?

Anu: What's that smell?
Raj: Uh, everyone has their own theory. Dr. Tibourgh thinks it's mold. I think it's Dr. Tibourgh.