Penny: I can't believe you met Joe Manganiello. Is he nice?
Leonard: Oh, he's so nice. I-I-I rolled my dice underneath the couch, and he just lifted it up, one hand.
Penny: Oh, I-I bet he did.

Leonard: Oh, a-and that, uh, the guy that played the werewolf on-on True Blood, he was there.
Penny: Wh-- Joe Manganiello?
Leonard: Uh, yeah.
Penny: From Magic Mike?
Leonard: What's that?
Penny: Okay, okay, did he look like this?
Leonard: He had his clothes on, but, yeah.

Leonard: All right, I'll tell you. Uh, [stammers] Kevin Smith was there, and-and, uh, this really tall guy named Kareem.
Penny: Wait-wait, K-Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?
Leonard: I don't know, it was, uh, Kareem something Jabbar. How do you know him
Penny: How do you not know him?
Leonard: Well, I know him now 'cause he was there.

Leonard: Okay, well, if you really want to know, I'll tell you where I was. I was at Wil's D&D game, but that's all I can say.
Penny: Oh, fun. Were there famous people there?
Leonard: Ah, sorry, I-I-I can't tell you that. Okay, well, yes, but I-I-I-I can't tell you who.
Well, no, I-I can tell you Shatner, but that's only because you already knew that one.
Penny: Well, I'm glad you had fun.
Leonard: Yeah. Ugh, I wish I could tell you who else was there. [chuckles] I can't, I promised.
Penny: Yeah, if it makes you feel better, I couldn't care less.
Leonard: That's true, you don't care, so there's no harm in telling you.
Penny: Okay, you really don't have to.

Wil Wheaton: You come face to face with a massive monster with a gaping maw full of teeth, three huge legs, and flailing tentacles. What do you do?
William Shatner: Fellas, it looks like we're facing a, an otyugh. Here's the plan-
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: Hold on there, Bill.
William Shatner: Now what, Kareem?
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: How do we know it's not a Neo-otyugh?
William Shatner: Same way I know the difference between an owlbear and a bugbear. Does that answer your question?
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: No.
Joe Manganiello: Look, there's one way to settle this: we chop it up and look at the pieces.
Kevin Smith: Oh, come on, why do you always got to attack everything? Why can't we just try talking to it?
Joe Manganiello: Big surprise, Podcast here wants to talk.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: What do you think, Leonard?
Leonard: I think this is the greatest day of my entire life.
William Shatner: It's all right, buddy, one day you'll meet a girl.

Leonard: Hey, guys.
Sheldon: What are you smiling about?
Leonard: What? This is my regular face.
Howard: No, it's not. Y-Your regular face is more like this-
Raj: No, no, i-it's-it's more in the eyebrows, like this.
Leonard: Okay, make your jokes. I'm still in a great mood. [phone ringing] Hey. Wait, what? Why? Oh, come on, but O-Okay, fine.
Sheldon: Huh, Raj was right, it is more in the eyebrows.

Penny: What are those?
Leonard: Oh, vitamins. Zack wants me to take them to increase my virility.
Penny: Zack used the word "virility"?
Leonard: He may have said "wiener power."

Penny: Okay, that's my dad. Now, remember, do not bring up any baby stuff, all right? Not me not wanting one, not you having one with Zack.
Leonard: Got it.
Penny: And if he brings it up, change the subject to literally anything else.
Leonard: I got it.
Penny: But not the Cornhuskers. Do not discuss the Cornhuskers.
Leonard: Is that a sports team?
Penny: Never mind, you're good.

Leonard: Hey, Wyatt.
Wyatt: Leonard. Hey, that's a hell of a handshake.
Leonard: Ah, well, you know, I've been taking vitamins.

Penny: Dad, uh, come on in, sit down. Can I get you something to drink? Maybe a beer?
Wyatt: Sure, if you're having one.
Penny: Okay.
Wyatt: And why wouldn't you, since you're not pregnant?
Penny: Um. Leonard wants to have a baby with my ex-boyfriend Zack.
Leonard: How 'bout those Cornhuskers?

Howard: Hey, would you mind if Raj and I went away this weekend?
Bernadette: Well, it is important for you two to keep the spark alive.

Howard: No, just the bachelor party I had planned. I thought we'd do it anyway.
Bernadette: Oh, so a guys' weekend?
Howard: Kinda. I mean, Sheldon and Leonard couldn't make it, so Raj invited Anu and I asked Stuart.
Bernadette: Wait, you invited Stuart before me?
Howard: Actually, I invited Bert before Stuart, but I don't know why I just told you that.

Bernadette: Why didn't you invite me?
Howard: Because I know you. You don't want to float weightless in an airplane.
Bernadette: What are you talking about? I love doing crazy stuff like that.
Howard: Bernie, you got sick from the teacup ride at Disneyland.
Bernadette: Lots of people do.
Howard: We were still in line.

Wyatt: And you're okay with this?
Penny: I support my husband.
Leonard: Thank you.
Penny: But, you know, if you think differently, you should feel free to say so. You know, just like, "Ah!" Make a scene.

Wyatt: Well, I don't know about Los Angeles, but in Nebraska, that's kind of strange.
Penny: It's strange here, too, and we have a bakery for dogs.