Mrs. Fowler: Oh, he's in here. I can smell his Axe body spray.
Leonard: He wears Axe body spray.
Penny: You happy? You smell like Amy's dad.

Penny: Ooh, come on.
Leonard: Ah, shouldn't we mind our own business?
Penny: Wow, sometimes it's like you don't know me at all.

Bernadette: Man, that is one hot weather girl.
Howard: How come if I say that I get in trouble?
Bernadette: You want to say it? You can say it.
Howard: Nice try. You're gonna have to find some other way to not have sex with me tonight. And it's not weather girl, it's weather woman.

Sunny Morrow: And with us today to talk about the upcoming meteor shower and the best places to view it, Caltech astrophysicist Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali. Thank you for being here.
Raj: Thank you for having me. I guess Neil deGrasse Tyson was unavailable.
Sunny Morrow: (laughs) Yeah.
Raj: What do you mean, "yeah"?
Sunny Morrow: Not important. So, what can we expect to see from this meteor shower?
Raj: Well, I think you can count on a lot of flaming gas, which is what you would have gotten from your first choice, Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Sunny Morrow: Sounds like there's no love lost between you and Dr. Tyson.
Raj: Oh, no, I love Neil. I mean, not as much as Neil loves Neil, but who does, right?

Sunny Morrow: Oh, you know, I'm told we are out of time, (chuckles) having learned nothing about meteor showers and too much about Dr. Koothrappali.
Raj: Thank you.

Sheldon: Do you know what I love about Broadway theater? It's so interactive.
Amy: Uh-huh.
Sheldon: You're so close to the actors. It's like you're in the play.
Amy: Uh-huh.
Sheldon: I mean, you yell, "Harry, watch out," he looks right at you. And not just Harry, everyone onstage.
Amy: At the risk of sounding redundant, uh-huh.

Sheldon: All right, well, it's a bit late, but I did block out the rest of the evening for conjugal relations. Should we shower? I mean before, not during. That's how you fall and break a hip.

Amy: Where are you going?
Sheldon: Uh, to take a shower. Now that sex can happen at any time, I always have to be ready. Should probably live under a waterfall.
Amy: Well, you don't have to worry about sex happening tonight.
Sheldon: Oh. Well, thanks, but I'm still gonna rinse off. I touched a lot of stuff in the gift shop.

Mrs. Fowler: No message, no note. Who would do that? What kind of husband would-
Leonard: If you let him talk, maybe you'll find out.
Mrs. Fowler: Fine. Larry?
*Mr. Fowler shrugs his shoulders*
Penny: Well, there you go. What more can he say?

Penny: I know, really, what did he ever see in her? He's so, so sweet, and she's such a ballbuster.
Leonard: Some guys think strong women are sexy.
Penny: Yeah, but they seem to have nothing in common.
Leonard: Yeah, well, sometimes opposites attract.
Penny: Wait, are you saying we are like them?
Leonard: I don't know, maybe a little.
Penny: So you're the sweet, quiet one and I'm Amy's mom? Is that what you're saying?
*Leonard shrugs his shoulders*

Raj: Hey, check out what Neil deGrasse Tyson just tweeted. "I've been informed that some random, attention-seeking nobody took a cheap shot at me on the local news." That's me. Guys, he's talking about me!

Bernadette: Raj, you need to apologize to Dr. Tyson.
Raj: Why? This could be good for me. Everybody loves a good Twitter feud. Neil and I could be like the new, uh, Katy Perry and Taylor Swift.

Bernadette: Come on, Raj, you're better than this.
Raj: Oh, leave room for dessert 'cause I'm gonna make you eat those words.

Raj: (clears throat) "Dear Dr. Tyson, "much like epithelial tissue, it appears I've gotten under your skin." iPhone drop, but I won't 'cause I don't have AppleCare.