Bernadette: What'd he say?
Raj: "Nice try, genius. The skin is epithelial tissue." Oh, it's on. He's Katy, I'm T-Swift.

Amy: Just let it go.
Sheldon: Is everything all right? You seem testy this morning.
Amy: I'm not testy.
Sheldon: I'll have to take your word for it. There's no test for testy.

Sheldon: Is it possible that you're sexually frustrated?
Amy: Okay, now I'm testy.
Sheldon: If you had adhered to my coital schedule, your brain would be floating on a sea of oxytocin right now.
Amy: Don't talk to me about my brain. I'm a neurobiologist.
Sheldon: Then you should know the benefits of the special hug that grown-ups give each other.
Amy: Sheldon, everybody's listening.
Sheldon: Of course they're listening; we're interesting.

Sheldon: I'm only recently married. Do I stay here? Do I follow? Say something useful.

Leonard: Morning, sunshine. So I see you're making espresso.
Penny: Yup. Just need that extra jolt for a successful day of ballbusting.

Leonard: Mrs. Fowler is an angry, vindictive woman, whereas you are warm and-and loving, quick to forgive.
Penny: Oh, please.
Leonard: I'm serious. And I'm nothing like Amy's dad. He's a mousy little man who can't stand up for himself.
*Penny stares at Leonard*
Leonard: My point is you're not like her, so we're not like them.

Raj: Hang on, I'm checking to see if Neil replied to my latest smackdown.
Bernadette: Really? Don't you think this Twitter feud is a little silly?
Raj: Absolutely not. It's two respected scientists debating opposing views in a public forum.
Howard: You called him Mike Tyson's little sister.
Raj: Yeah, and now Mike Tyson's mad at me, too.

Mrs. Fowler: He said he needs a break, and I'm too much for him.
Penny: Oh. I'm sure he didn't mean that.
Mrs. Fowler: He said I'm overbearing!
Penny: Oh, please, you're just the right amount of bearing. Look, I know he loves you. If you just give him some space, I'm sure he'll come back.
Mrs. Fowler: You really think so?
Penny: Yeah, I do.
Mrs. Fowler: You're a good person, Penny. I hope we get to spend lots of time together.
Penny: Me, too.

Penny: Hit the road.
Mr. Fowler: But-
Penny: Now!
Mr. Fowler: Can I get my stuff?
Penny: Be quick about it!

Sheldon: But I think, by the end of the honeymoon, we really started to feel like a married couple.
Amy: But the good kind, like on TV, not like my parents.

Howard: You're not a real married couple until you can pee with the door open and she's okay with it.
Bernadette: I told you, I'm not okay with it.
Howard: She loves it.

Bernadette: "I heart New York." Aw, the baby's gonna love throwing up on this.

Penny: Well, guys, that was very, very thoughtful of you. Did you get me a double XL?
Amy: I told you.
Sheldon: You were right, dear.

Amy: Oh. Isn't this nice?
Sheldon: What is it?
Amy: You know, it's, uh, it's one of those- Nope, doesn't do that.
Sheldon: Oh, maybe it's candy. Lick it.
Amy: I don't want to lick it. You lick it.
Sheldon: I'm not gonna lick it. I just brushed my teeth.

Howard: What is wrong with Stuart's face?
Raj: I think he's smiling.