Amy: Okay, I need you to be honest with me. How do I look?
Sheldon: A little shorter, but as we age that happens to all of us.
Amy: Come on, help me out here. I've got a bunch of interviews today.
Sheldon: Well, no one'll notice. They never met you before.

Amy: Sheldon, I'm nervous, and I wish you were coming with me.
Sheldon: If it helps, I wrote up some possible questions and answers for you.
Amy: "Whom do you love more, "Sheldon the scientist or Sheldon the man? Answer: Sheldon the scientist, but by such a slim margin that it's statistically insignificant." Well, you really managed to capture my voice.

Sheldon: Well, don't worry. I'm sure you're gonna do great.
Amy: Thank you. Okay, bye.
Sheldon: Wait, wait, wait. You forgot the cards.
Amy: Love you, too.

Bernadette: Really? She asked you to move in with her?
Stuart: Yeah, she was hinting around about it, but I think I handled it pretty well.
Raj: "Pretty well"? You ran out of there so fast, if it was a cartoon, there would have been a Stuart-shaped hole in the wall.

Bernadette: Was she mad?
Stuart: Uh, no. I talked to her after. She said she's fine.
Howard: Oh, no.
Raj: Yikes!
Bernadette: You'll find someone new.

Howard: Everything okay?
Raj: Yeah, it's just Anu's doorbell camera. I helped her install it.
Bernadette: You can't look at it. That's spying.
Raj: Who the hell is this guy?
Bernadette: Ooh, let me see.

Howard: He's got bags. He's probably just delivering food.
Raj: Why is she hugging him?
Bernadette: Maybe she doesn't have tip money?
Raj: Wait, why is she inviting him into the house?
Howard: She's a good tipper?

Sheldon: Now, wait, wait, are you trying to exclude me?
President Siebert: Look, Sheldon, you're a brilliant man, but your people skills are-
Sheldon: This is not barbecue sauce! This is steak sauce! What are you trying to pull?
President Siebert: Like that.
Sheldon: This is ridiculous. It is my work, too, and I am perfectly capable of keeping it together for an interview.
President Siebert: Okay. Say somebody asks if you feel your work is derivative of the work of Professor Joseph Polchinski.
[Sheldon's face starts twitching violently]
Amy: Seriously, can we get this man some barbecue sauce!?

Stuart: Would you mind stocking these?
Denise: Actually, I'm not on the clock today. I'm just hanging out with my boyfriend.
Stuart: Ah, cool. Huh. That's me, right?
Denise: Oh, I forgot to tell you, I broke up with you, and now I'm dating that guy.
Stuart: I know you're joking, but my flight-or-flight response doesn't.
Denise: Isn't it fight-or-flight?
Stuart: Not for me.

Anu: So I told my mom she just needed to back off. This is our wedding, and if anyone's gonna design the floral arrangements, it's going to be my man.
Raj: Thank you. I mean, I'm not trying to be a groomzilla, but this is my specialty.

Anu: Someone texting you?
Raj: Uh, no. It's just my, uh, doorbell camera.
Anu: Oh. I got one of those for my place, but I never installed it.
Raj: Oh, it's easy. I can do it for you. You're gonna love it. It's how I found out a raccoon was stealing my cheese-of-the-month club.
Anu: What did you do?
Raj: Nothing. I didn't want to piss it off. It was, like, huge from eating all the cheese.

Leonard: Hey. We're doing a big paintball game on Saturday if you two want to join.
Denise: Oh, my roommate asked me to help her move out on Saturday.
Penny: Ugh. That sucks.
Denise: Sucks for her. I'm playing paintball.

Stuart: I didn't know your roommate was moving out.
Denise: Yeah. I've been looking for a new one, but so far no luck.
Penny: You hear that? She needs a roommate.
Stuart: (mumbling)
Denise: What do you think, Stuart?
Stuart: (mumbling): Uh, i-i-i, uh... Flight. Flight. [Stuart walks out]
Penny: That was hard to watch.

Leonard: She just wants to play paintball. It combines my love of whimsy with her love of making grown men cry.

Howard: Sounds fun. Bernadette and I are in.
Raj: You don't need to ask her?
Howard: No. I've been pretty annoying lately. She's gonna want to shoot me.