Amy: Sheldon, do you want to put the tables after each section or in an appendix at the end?
Sheldon: You know what? We wrote this paper together. I think we should decide together that they go in an appendix at the end.
Amy: How about that? There is an "I" in "team.

Amy: Look at what we made.
Sheldon: I know. It really is the best of both of us. It's got my math and your sassy takedown of the fundamental nature of symmetry. It's got my bottomless intellectual curiosity and your petulant refusal to spell "grey" with an "a" like an American.

Amy: You realize we still have a lot of work to do before we can publish.
Sheldon: Perhaps we should divide and conquer. Now, you track down all the citations and properly note them in our bibliography, and I will roll up my sleeves and decide what font we want to use.
Amy: Sheldon, there are hundreds of citations to track down.
Sheldon: And thousands of fonts, but you don't hear me complaining.

Amy: I am not gonna spend weeks in a library looking up old papers. Can't we hire a grad student to do it?
Sheldon: A grad student? I am not trusting our unpublished paper to some millennial. They'll put unicorn emojis on it and then post it on social media.
Amy: Why would they do that?
Sheldon: Economic anxiety, too much avocado toast, who cares?

Sheldon: The point is, we can't afford to have this paper leaked before we're ready to publish. That's how you kiss the Nobel Prize good-bye instead of hello as I intend to do.
Amy: I assume you mean metaphorically.
Sheldon: Absolutely not. If the King of Sweden hands me a medal, I intend to smear it with Purell and then kiss it.

Amy: But what if we ask one of our friends to help us out? How about Leonard?
Sheldon: Gee, I don't know. Can we trust him?
Amy: He's your best friend in the whole world.
Sheldon: Yes, but he's always struck me as the guy in the plane crash who doesn't wait until you're all the way dead to eat you.
Amy: I think you can trust him.
Sheldon: Oh, Amy, you never lose that childlike innocence.

Sheldon: Leonard, I need to tell you something. I'm having an affair.
Leonard: Okay.
Sheldon: You have to swear not to tell anybody.
Leonard: Okay.
Sheldon: You are the only one who knows. Uh, well, you and Rita, the cafeteria lady who has been giving me more than Tater Tots.

Penny: What did he want?
Leonard: Oh, nothing. He just concocted some stupid test to see if I can keep a secret.
Penny: Ooh, what's the secret?
Leonard: I'm not gonna tell you that. The test is stupid, but I still want to pass.

Sheldon: Congratulations, Leonard, you passed my secret loyalty test. The truth is, I was never having an affair with the cafeteria lady. There's only one woman who gets to touch my no-no parts, and she's right here.
Amy: Sheldon.
Sheldon: No, no.

Leonard: Well, I am shocked, Sheldon, because I totally believed that the woman you reported for being stingy with the peas couldn't keep her hands off you.

Amy: Well, I am a little hurt that you weren't gonna tell me my husband was having an affair. I thought we were friends.
Leonard: I didn't really believe him.
Amy: Why not? You don't think other women find him attractive?
Leonard: (laughing) No.

Sheldon: I suppose you're wondering why I put you through all this.
Leonard: You mean the last two minutes or the last 20 years?

Sheldon: You know we're almost finished with our paper; we just need help tracking down the citations.
Leonard: That's busywork. Can't you just get a grad student to do it?
Amy: No, this paper is incredibly important to us, and we need someone we can trust.
Please, it would mean a lot.
Leonard: You know what? Sure. The three of us in the library looking up old papers, that actually could be kind of fun.
Sheldon: Oh, no, we won't be there.
Leonard: It just got more fun.

Raj: Bam, took him out. (chuckles) Now I'm doing a victory dance to celebrate. Where are you?
Howard: About to shoot some dancing jackass.
Raj: Hey!
Howard: And now I'm doing a victory dance.

Bernadette: What you playing?
Howard: Fortnite. A bunch of people parachute onto an island and fight it out to be the last man standing.
Bernadette: Like Hunger Games?
Raj: More like Bachelor in Paradise, but not as cutthroat.