Bernadette: Which brings up an interesting question. You and Stuart. Why?
Denise: I don't know. My parents owned a funeral home. Read into that what you will.

Denise: What can I help you with?
Bernadette: I was hoping Stuart could show me how to play Fortnite.
Denise: Mm, I can teach you.
Bernadette: Really, you good?
Denise: Look at my skin. I haven't been outside in six years.

Bernadette: So you'll coach me?
Denise: Sure. Now let me ask you a question. Howard. Why?
Bernadette: You got eyes. What do you think?

Penny: Is everything okay?
Leonard: No, I found a paper that proves their theory wrong. They thought this was gonna be their Nobel Prize. It's gonna break his heart.
Penny: Oh, man. Maybe leave an anonymous note, you know, like in high school, when you want to let your best friend know that her boyfriend's cheating on her.
Leonard: Why wouldn't you just tell her that?
Penny: I don't know. Maybe you had a hickey.
Leonard: Isn't it better to get bad news from a friend?
Penny: Trust me, it's not. I went to prom with a hickey and a black eye.

Penny: Come on, knock on the door. You can do this.
Leonard: All right, a-all right, here I go.
Penny: Oh, wait, just let me get inside.
Leonard: Why?
Penny: "Why"? Come on.

Sheldon: Oh, hey, Leonard. Is the podcast too loud
Leonard: I didn't hear a podcast.
Amy: I told you no one could hear it.
Sheldon: Well, I heard Ira Glass, so he's either in your earbuds or clinging to the ceiling like a gecko.

Denise: Okay, so walk up to that chest and push X. X. Push X.
Bernadette: Which one's X?
Denise: The one with the X on it.
Bernadette: Take it easy, I'm new at this.
Denise: What, the alphabet?

Bernadette: You don't have to be snarky.
Denise: Hey, do you want to play the game, or do you want to crawl back up your mommy's shirt and chow down like a baby?
Bernadette: Damn, what is wrong with you?
Denise: I'm sorry, I thought you wanted to beat your husband.
Bernadette: I do.
Denise: Well, then suck it up!

Amy: Can I do anything?
Sheldon: No.
Amy: I can make you some tea, I could sing "Soft Kitty"-
Sheldon: I don't understand how you're not more upset by this. This is your paper, too.
Amy: I am upset, Sheldon. I'm just trying to hold it together for you. Like when that goose wouldn't leave us alone at brunch.
Sheldon: That thing scared you, too?
Amy: Well, of course it did. I was wearing a down jacket.

Sheldon: Well, I don't need you to pretend to be okay for me. If anything, that makes it worse.
Amy: Fine. I'm not okay. We came up with this idea at our wedding. We poured months of our lives into it. I thought we were changing the course of science, and now it's all gone. I'm devastated.
Sheldon: I was wrong, that makes it worse. Go back to being happy.

Bernadette: Hey, guys.
Howard: Hey.
Raj: Hey.
Bernadette: You, uh, playing that, what's it called again? Fortnow?
Raj: Fortnite.
Bernadette: Right. I guess I forgot 'cause I only played it that one time and I was so bad at it.

Bernadette: Would you mind if I gave it another shot?
Raj: Mm, maybe later, Bern-
Bernadette: Give me. Where are you, Howard, where are you? Let me just build a little ramp, get some height.
Raj: You want to press B to go into build-- oh, wow, you already did it.
Bernadette: Did I? I'm just hitting buttons. Wee!
Howard: I see your ramp. I'm coming for you.
Bernadette: You can try, but (explosion sound effect)-
Howard: Gotcha. (chuckles)
Bernadette: Son of a bitch.
Howard: Want to play again?
Bernadette: No! Howard.
Howard: What?
Bernadette: I make more money than you.

Raj: You got yourself a good one there, buddy.

Penny: So neither of them showed up for work today?
Leonard: No, I tried calling and no one picked up.
Penny: Look, I'm sure they're fine. They were probably up all night coming up with a new theory.
Leonard: I also texted to see if he wanted to go to the new Fantastic Beasts movie and he didn't respond.
Penny: All right, well, they're already dead. There's nothing we can do.

Penny: Hey, you guys look all comfy. Did-did you take the day off?
Amy: It's Saturday.
Leonard: No, it's not.
Sheldon: Great, another thing we're wrong about. How many does that make, Amy?
Amy: Two.
Sheldon: Two things. What happened to us?
Amy: I'll tell you what happened. Professor Gregoropovich.
Leonard: I-I think it's Gregora-poli-popivich, but-
Amy: Three.