Sheldon: After last night, I got to thinking that I should have a better relationship with your family.
Amy: I think the one you have with them is perfect.
Sheldon: I hardly have one at all.
Amy: Which is perfect.

Sheldon: Oh, Amy, they're important to you, and you're important to me. Therefore, according to the transitive property, they're important to me. It's the same reason I'm interested in your big, flat feet.

Amy: Well, you know that my mom can be well, difficult to get along with.
Sheldon: Which is why I'm starting with your dad and working my way up.
Amy: All right. I'm just worried you might have a rather unpleasant day.
Sheldon: Yeah, back at ya. I watched the trailer for The Grinch, it looks terrible.

Mr. Fowler: Hi, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Oh, good. You're right on time.
Amy: Hi, Daddy.
Mr. Fowler: Hey, pumpkin.
Sheldon: Pumpkin? I've been calling her spaghetti squash. It's amazing that one woman can be different vegetables to different men.

Sheldon: So, how does this work with in-laws? Am I supposed to be calling you Dad? Because I don't want to.
Mr. Fowler: You don't have to.
Sheldon: Oh, thanks, Larry. Ooh. That doesn't sound right. Maybe I should pick a vegetable for you.

Raj: Hey, Leonard, can you pause the game for a second?
Leonard: Uh, hang on. I'm about to beat Howard. [after Howard pauses the game] What? Hey!
Howard: He's our friend. What's up, pal?

Raj: I don't know how else to say this, but, um, Anu and I are going to have sex tonight.
Howard: Yeah!
Leonard: Do you know how creepy that sounds?
Howard: Yeah!

Leonard: How you feeling about it?
Raj: Uh, to be honest, I'm pretty anxious. I mean, this is the woman I'm marrying. What if it's no good? Do we break up? Do we sign on for a lifetime of mediocre sex?
Leonard: Just don't put so much pressure on it. It's always a little awkward in the beginning. I remember the first time I slept with Penny.
Raj: It was bad?
Leonard: Oh, it was awesome! I will replay it in my head until the day I die.

Howard: Well, if it helps, I was really nervous my first time with Bernie. Mostly because I was worried my mom would walk in.
Leonard: Did she?
Howard: Yea-- Yeah.

Bernadette: I'll tell you one thing. Lock the door.

Penny: Yeah, Raj, you're gonna be fine. Just break out some of your Kama Sutra moves.
Raj: I don't really know any of that stuff. I just pretend I do to impress women. And by the way, Anu is Indian, she's gonna know there's no sexual position called a "screeching lotus."
Bernadette: Screeching lotus?
Raj: Sometimes I get leg cramps. It's my cover story.

Penny: Look, she's probably nervous, too.
Bernadette: Yeah, what if you're great and she's bad?
Raj: How can she be bad?
Penny: Raj, women can be bad at sex, too.
Raj: (laughs) No, that's silly.

Howard: Hey, have you checked the dates on these? They're all expired.
Stuart: You buy candy in a comic book store, you get what you get.

Sheldon: It's called Lethal Weapon, but isn't that redundant? Aren't weapons, by their very nature, lethal?
Mr. Fowler: I suppose you're right.
Sheldon: Yeah, and don't even get me started on Unsolved Mysteries.
Mr. Fowler: I didn't get you started on Lethal Weapon.

Sheldon: All right, this is another one of my favorite places, the comic book store. Feel free to look around.
Stuart: Vintage comics in back, vintage candy right here.