Raj: Hey, probably shouldn't say anything, but did you hear about Sheldon and the lunch lady?
Leonard: Yeah, uh, that's not true. That's just something Sheldon made up to test us.
Raj: I wish I'd known that before I called her a floozy in front of the whole lunch line.

Leonard: This is a list of the papers we need to pull. Why don't we split up? You take half, I take half.
Raj: I don't know, it's pretty creepy down here. Maybe we should stay together.
Leonard: Come on, Raj, it's just a library.
Raj: You could say that about anything. It's just a cemetery. It's just a haunted house.
It's just a portal to hell.

Leonard: Fine, how about we split up but we stay in constant communication with each other?
Raj: Yeah, thank you. Leonard?
Leonard: Still here.
Raj: Okay. Leonard?
Leonard: Still here.
Raj: Okay. Leonard? Leonard?
Leonard: (Leonard gasps) Oh, God! Too much dust.

Raj: Why do I have to tell him?
Leonard: You did find it.
Raj: But he's the one who translated it.
Leonard: Okay, okay, how about this? We all tell him.
Howard: Or even better: you tell him.
Raj: Yeah, that makes the most sense.
Leonard: You guys are such cowards.
Howard: Yes, we are.

Denise: What can I help you with?
Bernadette: I was hoping Stuart could show me how to play Fortnite.
Denise: Mm, I can teach you.
Bernadette: Really, you good?
Denise: Look at my skin. I haven't been outside in six years.

Penny: Come on, knock on the door. You can do this.
Leonard: All right, a-all right, here I go.
Penny: Oh, wait, just let me get inside.
Leonard: Why?
Penny: "Why"? Come on.

Sheldon: Well, I don't need you to pretend to be okay for me. If anything, that makes it worse.
Amy: Fine. I'm not okay. We came up with this idea at our wedding. We poured months of our lives into it. I thought we were changing the course of science, and now it's all gone. I'm devastated.
Sheldon: I was wrong, that makes it worse. Go back to being happy.

Bernadette: Hey, guys.
Howard: Hey.
Raj: Hey.
Bernadette: You, uh, playing that, what's it called again? Fortnow?
Raj: Fortnite.
Bernadette: Right. I guess I forgot 'cause I only played it that one time and I was so bad at it.

Bernadette: Would you mind if I gave it another shot?
Raj: Mm, maybe later, Bern-
Bernadette: Give me. Where are you, Howard, where are you? Let me just build a little ramp, get some height.
Raj: You want to press B to go into build-- oh, wow, you already did it.
Bernadette: Did I? I'm just hitting buttons. Wee!
Howard: I see your ramp. I'm coming for you.
Bernadette: You can try, but (explosion sound effect)-
Howard: Gotcha. (chuckles)
Bernadette: Son of a bitch.
Howard: Want to play again?
Bernadette: No! Howard.
Howard: What?
Bernadette: I make more money than you.

Penny: Hey, you guys look all comfy. Did-did you take the day off?
Amy: It's Saturday.
Leonard: No, it's not.
Sheldon: Great, another thing we're wrong about. How many does that make, Amy?
Amy: Two.
Sheldon: Two things. What happened to us?
Amy: I'll tell you what happened. Professor Gregoropovich.
Leonard: I-I think it's Gregora-poli-popivich, but-
Amy: Three.

Penny: Look, you guys, you had a, you had a setback, you know? This is the time you got to dig in and-and try harder. It's like halftime and you're down by seven.
Leonard: What are you doing?
Penny: All right, it's-it's like Bat-halftime and you're down by Bat-seven.

Bernadette: I see you. I see you and boom. (explosion sound effect) Gotcha! How's it feel, Penny?
Penny: Like I don't care at all.

Penny: We should just try and avoid anything that makes them think of their project or science or Nobel Prizes or successes or failures.
Amy: Hi.
Leonard: Hi!
Penny: Hey, guys.
Raj: Hey!
Amy: What are you guys doing?
Bernadette: Nothing.
Sheldon: Nothing? Like what my career has come to? Thanks a lot.
Howard: Nice going.

Penny: What you eating?
Leonard: Chicken fried steak.
Penny: What? You can't have chicken fried steak first thing in the morning.
Leonard: Hey, you knew I was a bad boy when you married me. Come on, you want a piece of this?
Penny: You or the steak?
Leonard: Me. I'm not sharing the steak.

Bernadette: Put it back on. You look adorable.
Howard: It's just a practice tape from when I was trying to become a member of the Magic Castle.
Bernadette: I didn't know you auditioned there.
Howard: Oh, I never went through with it. I watched the tape and realized I wasn't good enough. You know that trick where you saw a mannequin in half?
Bernadette: Don't you mean a lady?
Howard: Thank God it was not a lady. I'd just be getting out of jail.