Amy: Why are you trying to avoid having sex?
Sheldon: Well, we just did it three weeks ago.
Amy: I was talking to Leonard!

Leonard: Well, I-I have to go to the clinic for Zack and Marissa on Monday, and I'm supposed to save myself until then.
Amy: Sounds like maybe Penny's not totally on board with that plan.
Leonard: Well, she said she was. But she also said I looked dope. Honestly, I don't even think I looked fly.

Sheldon: So you're willing to go through with this, even though she clearly has reservations?
Leonard: If she has a problem, she should say something.
Sheldon: She tried to seduce you. If that's not a cry for help, I don't know what is.

Neil: Okay, I just need you guys to sign these waivers, and then you can go get changed.
Bernadette: There are a lot of pages here. Is this a waiver or a screenplay you've been working on?
Howard: I'm sure it's just boilerplate.
Neil: Absolutely. It's to protect us in case of injury.
Bernadette: It says, "Or death." Which is awesome.

Howard: Where are the changing rooms?
Neil: Dressing rooms are in the back.
Raj: No peeking.

Anu: Should we go get changed?
Bernadette: Yeah. Hang on a second.
Anu: What?
Bernadette: Just-- I have two babies at home. What am I doing?
Anu: If you don't want to do this, then why'd you come?
Bernadette: To prove to Howard that he doesn't know me as well as he thinks he does.
Anu: Looks like he does.
Bernadette: Unless I do it and then he doesn't.
Anu: Why not just be honest?
Bernadette: You're right. I should be honest. You owe me $3,000 for those plane tickets to India!

Wyatt: That was a long run.
Penny: Yeah. Well, I was in the zone. You know, and then in a diner and then in a massage chair at the mall where I fell asleep.
Wyatt: Are you avoiding me?
Penny: Well, I took a nap next to Hot Dog on a Stick. What do you think?

Penny: Yes. I feel like I'm letting everybody down. I hate disappointing Leonard, but I really hate disappointing you.
Wyatt: Oh, Slugger, you could never disappoint me. Okay, your high school years were a little rough.
Penny: Yeah. And I'm sorry about that.
Wyatt: There was you sneaking out at night and your boyfriends sneaking out in the morning.
Penny: I said sorry.
Wyatt: That time you got drunk and stole a horse.
Penny: Yeah. I was there. I remember. Parts of it.

Wyatt: But besides all that, being your dad is the best thing ever happened to me.
Penny: What about Randall and Lisa?
Wyatt: They're okay.

Leonard: Uh, Wyatt, we need to talk.
Wyatt: Sure. What's up?
Leonard: I want you to back off. You know? If Penny and I don't have kids, that's between us. So you need to stay out of it.
Penny: Oh, Leonard, it's okay. We talked. We're good.
Leonard: Oh. Okay, you could've stopped me sooner.
Penny: Could've let you go longer.

Wyatt: You did great, Leonard. Very forceful.
Leonard: Yeah? (chuckles) I-I-I felt like my voice was a little shaky there.

Leonard: Hey, I decided to not go through with this Zack and Marissa thing.
Penny: Really? But you were so excited about it.
Leonard: I know. But, um, I think I was just fooling myself. I would be heartbroken if I had a kid out there and I wasn't his dad.
Penny: I know you would.
Leonard: Yeah. So, that thing you wanted to do last night, I'm available.
Wyatt: I got real good hearing there, stud.

Bernadette: Howie, I don't think I should do this.
Howard: Really? Well, I did not see that coming.

Bernadette: See? I just think I shouldn't go.
Neil: Actually, this is much safer than driving a car.
Bernadette: Stay out of it, flyboy!

Howard: But I've done this before. And since you really, really want to go, I'll stay here.
Bernadette: Oh. Great.
Howard: Unless you don't want to because I was right and I do know you.
Bernadette: Well, if you really know me, then you know how far I'll go to prove a point.
Howard: Apparently, 34,000 feet that way, then straight back down, up and down, over and over again until you throw up food you didn't even eat.