Amy: Just tell me what happened.
Sheldon: Leonard talked to Tam behind my back and took his side. And after what he did to me. Can you believe it?
Amy: No. I'm-I'm shocked and outraged. Now, tell me why I'm shocked and outraged.

Sheldon: When I got accepted to grad school at Caltech, I was afraid to move so far away from home. So Tam said he'd move out here with me and be my roommate. Then, over the summer, he got a girlfriend, even after reading all the pamphlets I gave him about social diseases.
Amy: Aw, I remember when you gave me those pamphlets.

Sheldon: Anyway, Tam stayed with her in Texas, and I had to move out here all by myself.
Amy: That must've been scary.
Sheldon: It was. I was lonely, and I thought I'd never make a friend again. And for a long time, I didn't.
Amy: But then you did. And great friends. If you think about it, if Tam had moved out here with you, who knows what your life would've been like.
[Montage of classic The Big Bang Theory moments with Tam as Sheldon's roomate]

Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: Uh, I'm Leonard Hofstadter. I called you about the apartment. You said-
Tam: Tell him to go away. You already have a roommate.

Tam: New neighbor?
Penny: Oh, hi.
Tam: Hi.
Sheldon: Hi.
Tam: Hi.
Sheldon: Hi.

Penny: Tam, look. Sheldon's hugging me.
Tam: It's a Saturnalia miracle.

Tam: Sheldon, come here.
Sheldon: Bazinga!

[After montage of classic The Big Bang Theory moments with Tam as Sheldon's roommate]
Sheldon: No, my life would've still been great.

Penny: This place is amazing. I can't believe you got us in here.
Anu: Well, it's kind of my job. Usually I get tipped for it, but I'll leave that up to you.

Bernadette: Look, I think that's LeBron over there.
Penny: James?
Bernadette: No, LeBron Kershenbaum.

Anu: So, what do you want to know?
Bernadette: Well, you seem like a smart, successful woman, why would you want to marry someone you just met?
Anu: Fair question. In my 20s, I tried this the normal way. You know, met a guy, fell in love, we moved in together. I put him through culinary school, screenwriting classes, and finally dumped him when he wanted to become a midwife. Then I realized, my parents are happy; they had an arranged marriage. Why am I fighting this?

Bernadette: I dunno, I married for love and it turned out ... fine.
Penny: [silence] Oh, yeah, me, too.

Leonard: What is going on with you?
Sheldon: I don't want to talk about it.
Leonard: Well, I'm sure you have a perfectly stupid reason.
Sheldon: I don't do anything for a stupid reason. Except, perhaps, Talk Like a Pirate Day, and I'd argue that's more whimsical than stupid.

Leonard: You know, I was curious to find out what Tam had done wrong. Why am I not surprised the answer is nothing?
Sheldon: So you're taking his side. You scurvy dog. You watch yourself.There is room on my enemies list now that the cafeteria ladies finally told me what's in the chili. By the way, don't eat the chili. Wait, wait, wait. You know what? Do.

Leonard: Be careful, Sheldon. I don't think you can afford to lose a second best friend.
I don't see anyone lining up to be your third.
Sheldon: D- Wait. [typing] "Snarky comebacks" Oh, here we go. "You have your entire life to be a jerk, why not take today off?" That was harsh, but he was asking for it.