Stuart: Seriously, do you think I should ask her out?
Raj: Absolutely. Don't let love get away. It is the most important thing in the world. Without it, life is dark and meaningless and all you're left with is the judgmental gaze of your dog as you finish off a bag of Doritos on the toilet.

Amy: I can't stop thinking about that present. It's driving me crazy.
Sheldon: Me, too! The card said it was the perfect gift. But it's not a dinosaur fossil or matching pocket watches, so I don't see how it can be.

Amy: Maybe we're trying too hard. Maybe it's something simple.
Sheldon: (gasps) Like Leonard and Penny. Yes, good.

Sheldon: We just need to think like them. (inhales, exhales) Okay. What gift can I get us to express how grateful we are to have us in their lives?
Amy: Way to make it simple.

Sheldon: I'm just gonna ask them.
Amy: No, you can't; it'll hurt their feelings.
Sheldon: I'm okay with that.
Amy: And they'll know you weren't smart enough to figure it out on your own.
Sheldon: You're right. Oh, this is awful. And I can't even comfort myself by stroking the fossilized tibia of a Pentaceratops.

Amy: Let's just go to sleep. We'll look at it in the morning with fresh eyes, and maybe it'll come to us.
Sheldon: Fine.
Amy: Or we go tear apart that box and look for a clue.
Sheldon: Staying up past my bedtime and solving mysteries? Who knew married life could be this good?

Bernadette: What's wrong with his face?
Howard: A lot of people have been asking that. He's smiling.
Bernadette: Hey, Stuart, you look pretty happy.
Stuart: Oh, yeah. I, uh, asked Denise out on a date, and she said yes.
Bernadette: Aw. That's great. But don't smile like that in front of Halley. She just started sleeping through the night.

Stuart: I'm excited. I haven't been on a date in a long time.
Howard: Back when I was dating, I'd always wear a new pair of underwear, just in case.
Stuart: It's also been a long time since I bought new underwear. And I probably should, because these are no longer tighty nor whitey.
Bernadette: Okay, I'm out.

Howard: If there's a chance someone's gonna see you naked, it's also polite to make sure you're well-groomed down there.
Bernadette: I get it, Howard. I've been busy!

Sheldon: I just wanted to pop over and hand-deliver this thank you note for your very thoughtful wedding gift.
Penny: Oh.
Leonard: Oh, good. You guys liked it?
Sheldon: Well, we liked it a lot more than things that aren't it, I'll tell you that.
Penny: Well, yeah, that's great. Because when we saw it, we thought, "Amy and Sheldon just have to have that."
Sheldon: Oh, do tell. Now, paint a picture for me, like where you were when you found it and what you thought we'd enjoy doing with it.
Leonard: Do you not know what it is?
Penny: Of course he knows what it is. He's the smartest man in the world.
Sheldon: Well, I don't know about the world. Some of those Chinese fellas are pretty clever. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to return home and use your gift in the manner which it was intended.

Leonard: He's never gonna figure it out.
Penny: I know.
Sheldon: [outside the apartment] What are you?!
Leonard: Gosh, this makes me happy.
Sheldon: Yeah.

Sheldon: Howard, I don't often say this, but, good, you're here.

Sheldon: Now, do you know what Leonard and Penny got us for our wedding gift?
Howard: Well-
Sheldon: Don't answer. I don't want to know. I just want to know if you know.
Howard: I do know.
Sheldon: Okay, great. I believe that Amy and I have figured it out. Is it a clue to a scavenger hunt that will lead us to the actual present?
Howard: If you're asking if you and Amy should spend the next couple days running all over town searching for the next clue, I'm gonna have to say yes.
Sheldon: I knew it! This is so much fun.
Howard: Oh, it really is.

Sheldon: Oh, Leonard, thank you again. We love the gift.
Leonard: Aw. [After Sheldon leaves] Does he know what it is?
Howard: No, not even close. He thinks it's a clue to a scavenger hunt.
Leonard: (laughs) So, so happy.

Raj: Well, what is it? What did you give them?
Leonard: Oh, i-it's just this dumb crystal wand that Howard and Bernadette gave us for our wedding. Penny and I made each other miserable trying to figure out what it was, and we thought, "Why not pass that fun along to Sheldon and Amy."
Raj: Wait a minute. Did-- did you give them the crystal chakra wand that I gave you for your wedding?
Howard: Yeah, that's exactly what we did.
Raj: You said you liked it!
Howard: Yeah, that's exactly what I said.