Leslie: So, dumbass, I heard you made a grad student throw up last night.
Sheldon: The truth can indeed be a finger down the throat of those unprepared to hear it. But why should I cater to second-rate minds?
Leslie: Because first-rate minds call you "dumbass"?

Leonard: Well, I think tonight was a very good start.
Leslie: Me too. You're sure you're okay postponing intercourse until our relationship is past the initial viability test?
Leonard: No problem, I'm very skilled at postponing intercourse. So I guess I'll call you and we'll arrange another evening.
Leslie: Yes. I believe protocol dictates that you wait a minimum of 18 hours before you call so I'm not repulsed by your cloying eagerness.
Leonard: Sure.
Leslie: Again, it's your decision, you're the man.

Leslie: Hey fellow scientists. Sheldon.

Leslie: You agree with me, right, loop quantum gravity is the future of physics.
Leonard: Sorry Leslie, I guess I prefer my space stringy not loopy.
Leslie: Well, I'm glad I found out the truth about you before this went any further.
Leonard: Truth, what truth? We're talking about untested hypotheses, uh, it's no big deal.
Leslie: Oh, it isn't, really? Tell me Leonard, how would we raise the children?

Leonard: I guess we let them wait until they're old enough and let them choose their own theory.
Leslie: We can't let them choose, Leonard, they're children!

Leslie: Hey, dummy.
Sheldon: Hello to you, insufficiently intelligent person.
Leslie: Ooh, rush me to the burn unit.

Sheldon: Hello to you, insufficiently intelligent person.

Leslie: Wow. So, I heard your relationship with Penny crashed to the ground like blue ice falling out of an airplane lavatory.
Leonard: Where did you hear that?
Leslie: Actually I read it. Wolowitz texted me.
Leonard: (Reading the text) "Like blue ice falling out of an airplane lavatory." Yep.
Leslie: I thought it was a pretty good one, I gave him an L-O-L.

Leslie: Anyway, I just figure it's time to slow things down and who better to slow things down with than you?
Leonard: Oh, I'm flattered. So, how do you suggest we proceed?
Leslie: Your place, we'll order Chinese, you'll rent a movie, artsy but accessible, then light petting, no coitus.
Leonard: Sounds fun.
Leslie: I'll leave the details up to you, I think it's better if you assume the male role.
Leonard: Thank you, that's very thoughtful.
Leslie: Great. Call me!

Leslie: Oh. So, how many children do you think we should have?
(Leonard splutters)
I'm sorry, that was a little abrupt.
Leonard: A little.
Leslie: I mean there are so many things to talk about before we discuss reproduction.
Leonard: I sure hope so.
Leslie: Besides shortness, what genetic weaknesses run in your family?

Howard: Dr. and Mrs. Koothrappali, namaste. I understand your concern, but if it'll make you feel any better, my mother is fine with me going. And this is a woman who kept a safety rail on my bed until I was 17.
Mrs Koothrappali: So, she has no problem with her son being eaten by a walrus?

Raj: But mummy, all the other guys are going to the North Pole.
Mrs. Koothrappali: I don't care what the other guys are doing. If the other guys jumped in the Bay of Bengal and tried to swim to Sri Lanka, would you follow them?

Sheldon: Sheldor, back online.
Penny: What's AFK?
Sheldon: AFK. Away from keyboard.
Penny: Oh, I see.
Sheldon: What does that stand for?
Penny: "Oh, I see"?
Sheldon: Yes, but what does it stand for?

Sheldon: The Hungarians are just using you for dragon fodder.
Penny: Really? Boy, you'd think you could trust a horde of Hungarian barbarians.

Leonard: Why should I do something? You're the one who introduced her to online gaming.
Sheldon: Well, yes, but you're the one who said hello to her when she moved in. If you'd just simply restrained yourself, none of this would be happening.