Barry Kripke: Hey, look at you Cooper. You're almost half way to the top.

Barry Kripke: Hello to you, too!

Barry Kripke: Be right back. I gotta floss the Indian food out of my teeth if I'm going to eat Chinese.

Barry Kripke: Hello. How did I walk past you? I'm Barry.
Penny: Penny.
Barry Kripke: That's not a very hot name. I'm gonna call you Roxanne.

Penny: The building manager's showing an apartment downstairs, and I haven't paid my rent.
Sheldon: Oh, I see. Penny, I'm not sure I'm comfortable harboring a fugitive from the 2311 North Los Robles Corporation.

Penny: Wow, you got a lot of money in there.
Sheldon: That's why it's guarded by snakes.

Sheldon: I see no large upcoming expenditures unless they develop an affordable technology to fuse my skeleton with admantium like Wolverine.
Penny: Are they working on that?
Sheldon: I sincerely hope so.

Penny: I'll pay you back as soon as I can.
Sheldon: Of course you will. It's impossible to pay me back sooner than you can. Assuming you subscribe to a linear understanding of time and causality.

Leonard: Here you go. Oh, you owe me another two dollars. The price of mu-shu pork went up.
Howard: It's getting tougher and tougher to be a bad Jew.

Penny: I've been having leftovers at the restaurant for like four days and I wanted something different. So sue me.
Sheldon: Forgive me, Penny, but that would be the very definition of a frivolous lawsuit.

Leonard: Look, you do understand that Sheldon really doesn't care when he gets the money back. It's actually one of the few idiosyncrasies that doesn't make you want to, you know, kill him.

Penny: Oh, no, I can't give up my acting classes. I'm a professional actress.
Leonard: You've had an acting job where you got paid?
Penny: That is not the definition of professional.
Leonard: Actually, it kind of - let's keep looking.

Penny: Well, remember Kurt?
Leonard: Your ex-boyfriend?
Penny: Yeah. He got arrested for taking a whiz on a cop car.
Leonard: What?
Penny: He was drunk.
Leonard: I would hope so.

Sheldon: Leonard fairly calls the question, who is in favor of abandoning our game and confronting Penny's steroid-infused ex-boyfriend in a suicidal mission to extract money from him?
Say hi to Kurt for us.
Leonard: Excuse me. When Frodo left the Shire to take the one ring to Mordor, didn't Samwise, Pippin and Merry go with him?
Sheldon: They did.
Leonard: Well?
Sheldon: They had a terrible time of it, Leonard.

Penny: Fellas, please.
Howard: Penny, come on, we were just finding our sound.
Penny: You found it. It's the sound of a cat being run over by a lawn mower.