Sheldon: Do those sound like castanets to you?
Leonard: The box says 'kitchen'.
Sheldon: So? Do cocaine smugglers write 'cocaine' on the box?

Sheldon: Listen to that! 'Stomp, stomp, stomp.' It's Wolowitz and his stacked heels that fool no one.

Wolowitz: According to Alicia's Facebook page, she's hooking up with one of the producers on CSI.
Penny: Dead whore on TV, live one in real life.

Howard: [looking at his caller ID] Ooh, looks like I'm gonna have sex tonight. [answering phone] Hey, baby...
Penny: His right hand is calling him?

Raj: We need a plan. How about Operation Hammer of the Gods?
Leonard: I forget, which one is Hammer of the Gods?
Raj: We hide behind the dumpsters in the parking lot and ambush people when they come to pee.

Leslie: Boy, your heart's racing. I must've really gotten you going.
Wolowitz: Well, it's partly you, partly my transient idiopathic arrhythmia.
Leslie: Sexy.

Sheldon: She calls me moon-pie because I'm nummy-nummy and she could just eat me up.

Penny: Since when do we offer one day rush?
Leonard: Amazon offers one day rush.
Penny: Yeah, but they don't have to glue the books together!

Sheldon: Everything is better with Bluetooth.

Sheldon: I'm sorry, coffee's out of the question. When I moved to California I promised my mother that I wouldn't start doing drugs.

Sheldon: You are effectively paying yourself five dollars and nineteen cents a day.
Penny: A day?
Sheldon: There are children working in sneaker factories in Indonesia who out-earn you.

Sheldon: Camouflaging bald spots. That's primarily a male concern. Perhaps we could expand our market.
Penny: How are flower barrettes going to appeal to men?
Wolowitz: We add Bluetooth.

Wolowitz: Oh, stop it with the fake third world crap. Your father is a gynecologist and you had a house full of servants.
Raj: We only had four servants, and two of them were children.

Sheldon: Penny, I'm a physicist. I have a working knowledge of the entire universe and everything it contains.
Penny: Who's Radiohead?
Sheldon: I have a working knowledge of the important things in the universe.

Sheldon: You know, this situation with Koothrappali brings to mind a story from my childhood.
Howard: Oh, goody, more tales from the Panhandle.
Sheldon: That's Northwest Texas. I'm from East Texas, the Gulf region. Home to many Vietnamese shrimpers.
Leonard: Do the shrimpers feature in your story?
Sheldon: No. Anyway, when I was eight, a Montgomery Ward delivery van ran over our family cat, Lucky.
Howard: Lucky?
Sheldon: Yes, Lucky.
Leonard: He's irony-impaired. Just move on.
Howard: Ok, dead cat named Lucky. Continue.