Howard: Go get yourself some rebound stress release.
Raj: Technically, it would only be rebound if he and Penny had actually engaged in physical intimacy.
Howard: You mean like you and Richard the slave girl?
Raj: I bought him dinner and we kissed once. That was it. And he told me his name was Kimberly.

Sheldon: Look on the bright side.
Leonard: What's the bright side?
Sheldon: Only 9 more months to Comic-Con.

Raj: (Talking about Leslie Winkle) I think she's smoking hot.
Howard: I'd hit that!
Sheldon: You'd hit particulate soil in a colloidal suspension. (Seeing Howard's confusion) Mud.

Sheldon: The only way she'd be able to make a contribution to science is if they resume sending chimps into space.

Sheldon: That was not fifteenth century soap. My God, these people need to learn you can't just put "ye olde" in front of anything and expect to get away with it.

Sheldon: I fashioned historically accurate undergarments out of linen.
Leonard: You went out and bought linen?
Sheldon: Don't be silly, I borrowed one of your pillow cases.
Leonard: Borrowed?

Leonard: I've dated plenty of women. There was Joyce Kim, Leslie Winkle.
Sheldon: Notify the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary. The word plenty has been redefined to mean two.

Sheldon: Friday's always vintage game night. Look, my mom included the memory card. We can pick up where I left off in 1999 when I had pernicious anaemia.

Leonard: I would appreciate it if you would, you know, make yourself scarce.
Sheldon: Leonard, I am a published theoretical physicist with two doctorates and an IQ which can't be accurately measured by normal tests, how much scarcer could I be?

Sheldon: Of all the overrated physicists in all the labs in all the world, why does it have to be Leslie Winkle?

Penny: Sheldon, you are a smart guy, you must know-
Sheldon: Smart? I'd have to lose 60 IQ points to be classified as smart.

Leslie: Hey, dummy.
Sheldon: Hello to you, insufficiently intelligent person.
Leslie: Ooh, rush me to the burn unit.

Sheldon: Hello to you, insufficiently intelligent person.

Leslie: Wow. So, I heard your relationship with Penny crashed to the ground like blue ice falling out of an airplane lavatory.
Leonard: Where did you hear that?
Leslie: Actually I read it. Wolowitz texted me.
Leonard: (Reading the text) "Like blue ice falling out of an airplane lavatory." Yep.
Leslie: I thought it was a pretty good one, I gave him an L-O-L.

Leslie: Anyway, I just figure it's time to slow things down and who better to slow things down with than you?
Leonard: Oh, I'm flattered. So, how do you suggest we proceed?
Leslie: Your place, we'll order Chinese, you'll rent a movie, artsy but accessible, then light petting, no coitus.
Leonard: Sounds fun.
Leslie: I'll leave the details up to you, I think it's better if you assume the male role.
Leonard: Thank you, that's very thoughtful.
Leslie: Great. Call me!