Raj: If you really want to clean up your karma, go get my freakin' latte.

Howard: Hang on, I think I've got this. Help me see if we can wedge this little piece of PVC behind the support rod.
Sheldon: You're overestimating the tensile strength of the substructure you're building.
Howard: Sheldon, I know what I'm doing.
Sheldon: If you knew what you were doing, there wouldn't be a space toilet where my coffee table should be.

Raj: Howard, wait. Why don't you use this instead of the PVC to keep the transverse filter assembly in place?
Howard: Because this is not a spare part from the space station. This is the thing from the pizza box that keeps the lid from touching the cheese.
Raj: That what that's for? In India, the lid just touches the cheese. Of course, we also have rampant poverty and periodic outbreaks of cholera, so a little cardboard in our cheese is no biggie.

Howard: (talking on the phone) Yes, sir, I understand classified. We'll keep it all classified, no one has to know but you and me.
Penny: What's classified?
Leonard: Howard's space toilet. I'll tell you later.

Penny: Leonard, could you pass the soy sauce, please?
Leonard: I'm sorry, were you talking to me?
Penny: Yeah, I said Leonard.
Leonard: Yes, you did, didn't you?

Penny: What the hell is that?
Howard: Meatloaf.
Leonard: What was it doing on the ceiling?
Howard: That's classified.

Leonard: Wait a minute. He offered to send you to the North Pole?
Sheldon: Yes. In fact, he was quite enthusiastic. He said, "Frankly, if I could send you tonight, I would."

Sheldon: I'm not good with cold, Leonard. How often have we had to leave a movie theater because I got a headache from drinking the Icee too fast? I can't go.

Leonard: Sheldon, what are the words I can say right now to end this conversation and let me go back to sleep?
Sheldon: Odd, President Siebert posed the exact same question.
Leonard: How was it resolved?
Sheldon: It wasn't. His wife set the dogs on me, and rendered the question moot.

Sheldon: I need access to the Cheesecake Factory's walk-in freezer.
Penny: Now, honey, I already told you, the hamburger meat is fresh and stored at a safe temperature.

Mrs. Koothrappali: So, she has no problem with her son being eaten by a walrus?
Sheldon: That's very unlikely, Mrs. Koothrappali. If Raj dies, it'll be from frostbite, gangrene, acute sunburn or being ripped to shreds by a hundred pound polar bear.

Leonard: What about the really long hug? What did that mean?
Penny: That wasn't a long hug.
Leonard: It was at least five Mississippis. A standard hug is two Mississippis tops.

Raj: But mummy, all the other guys are going to the North Pole.
Mrs. Koothrappali: I don't care what the other guys are doing. If the other guys jumped in the Bay of Bengal and tried to swim to Sri Lanka, would you follow them?

Howard: Dr. and Mrs. Koothrappali, namaste. I understand your concern, but if it'll make you feel any better, my mother is fine with me going. And this is a woman who kept a safety rail on my bed until I was 17.
Mrs Koothrappali: So, she has no problem with her son being eaten by a walrus?

Sheldon: Did you bring the dehydrated low-sodium soy sauce?
Leonard: Check.
Sheldon: Freeze-dried spicy mustard?
Leonard: Check.
Sheldon: Flash-frozen brown rice, not white?
Leonard: Uh, oh, sorry.
Sheldon: Not to worry. I hid it. Bazinga!