Raj: (Reading Howard's tweet) I am so lonely and horny, I may open this $20 jar of peanuts and end it all.

Sheldon: What exactly does that expression mean, 'friends with benefits?' Does he provide her with health insurance?

Sheldon: Penny.
Penny: What?
Sheldon: I can't sleep.
Penny: Maybe that's because your hole is still open.

Penny: Oh, alright. I will give you my bed on one condition. That you promise to zip your hole for the next eight hours.
Sheldon: May I say one last thing.
Penny: Only if it doesn't rhyme.
Sheldon: Alright. Goodnight.

Sheldon: Penny.
Penny: Yeah.
Sheldon: Thanks for letting me stay here.
Penny: Oh, you're welcome sweetie.
Sheldon: Okay, I'm sleepy now get out.

Wolowitz: Raj, there's no place for truth on the Internet.

Sheldon: Would you like some advice?
Leonard: Sure, why not?
Sheldon: Then this is the perfect time to launch a blog with an interactive comments section.
Leonard: Gee, thanks a lot.

Sheldon: Just pick out anything? Maybe at the same time we can pick out a new suit for him without knowing his size, or pick out his career for him without knowing his attitude, or pick out a new breakfast cereal without knowing his fiber requirements or his feelings about little marshmallows.

Penny: I found the decaf.
Stuart: Oh, great.
Sheldon: Herbal tea for me, please.

Howard: Are you familiar with the Drake Equation?
Sheldon: The one that estimates the odds of making contact with extraterrestrials by calculating the product of an increasingly restrictive series of fractional values such as those stars with planets, and those planets likely to develop life? N equals R times FP times NE times FL times FI times FC times L?
[pause]
Howard: Yeah, that one.

Sheldon: Chinese Food, Vintage video games. After the nightmare of Anything Can Happen Thursday, this is Friday night the way it was meant to be.
Howard: Who's up for Sheldon-Free Saturday?

Howard: I have got to learn how to draw.

Leonard: Oh, hey, Stuart. This is Penny. She's looking for some comic books.
Stuart: Oh, really? Blink twice if you're here against your will.

Sheldon: Look at that, that's a dent. Thank you, Howard ham-fisted Wolowitz.

Raj: Lock up your daughters, we're going to hit it and quit it.