Sheldon: Would you like some advice?
Leonard: Sure, why not?
Sheldon: Then this is the perfect time to launch a blog with an interactive comments section.
Leonard: Gee, thanks a lot.

Raj: Come on! You know I can't talk to women unless I'm lit up like the Hindu festival of Diwali.

Penny: I found the decaf.
Stuart: Oh, great.
Sheldon: Herbal tea for me, please.

Leonard: We all agreed that the third Thursday of every month would be Anything Can Happen Thursday.
Sheldon: Well, apparently the news didn't reach my digestive system, which, when startled, has its own version of Anything Can Happen Thursday.

Penny: Um, you know it's kinda early. Do you wanna maybe come in for some coffee or something?
Stuart: Oh gee, its a little late for coffee isn't it?
Penny: Aw, you think coffee means coffee. That is so sweet.

Sheldon: Chinese Food, Vintage video games. After the nightmare of Anything Can Happen Thursday, this is Friday night the way it was meant to be.
Howard: Who's up for Sheldon-Free Saturday?

Sheldon: Just pick out anything? Maybe at the same time we can pick out a new suit for him without knowing his size, or pick out his career for him without knowing his attitude, or pick out a new breakfast cereal without knowing his fiber requirements or his feelings about little marshmallows.

Howard: Look, there are plenty of bars in Los Angeles where you can order grasshoppers and chocolate martinis, but you wouldn't have to because there are no women in them.

Stuart: Oh, Sheldon, I'm afraid you couldn't be more wrong.
Sheldon: More wrong? Wrong is an absolute state and not subject to gradation.
Stuart: Of course it is. It's a little wrong to say a tomato is a vegetable, it's very wrong to say it's a suspension bridge.

Raj: Lock up your daughters, we're going to hit it and quit it.

Penny: While you're there, could you pick up a few comics for my nephew's birthday?
Sheldon: I think you mean comic books. Comics are feeble attempts at humor featuring talking babies and anthropomorphizing pets found traditionally in the optimistically named funny pages.

Leonard: How about those two?
Howard: Nah, they're eating peanuts. My allergies, one kiss would put me in Cedar-Sinai for a week.

Alicia: Cool t-shirt.
Penny: Oh, yeah, I don't usually dress like this. I'm going jogging.
Sheldon: You don't jog.
Penny: I can start.
Sheldon: True, but the more likely explanation for your attire is that you're out of clean clothes again.
Penny: Thank you, Sheldon.
Sheldon: You're welcome, Penny.

Sheldon: Hold on. You honestly expect me to believe that social protocol dictates we break our backs helping Wolowitz move, and then he only need buy us a pizza?
Leonard: I'm sorry, that really is how it works.
Sheldon: You're tricking me. You tell me the truth. What do we get?
Leonard: Raj, help me out here.
Raj: You get to choose between a mountain bike or a PS3.
Sheldon: I knew it! PS3, definitely PS3. Who would pick a mountain bike?

Penny: Okay, did you even know the people that are moving out?
Sheldon: I never met them. That's what made them perfect. There were no awkward hellos in the halls. There's no clickety-clackety of high-heel shoes on hardwood floors. They may as well have been a family of cats just jumping around from drape to drape. And without that annoying ammonia urine smell.