Sheldon: Oh, mimicry. I enjoy mimicry. I've been working on Admiral Ackbar from Return of the Jedi. "It's a trap". You have to imagine me with a giant squid head. "It's a trap! It's a trap. It's a trap."

Sheldon: You set it on DTS, didn't you?
Leonard: I had to, she called me cutie.

Penny: Oh, they're all up there, huh? Hmm, typical.
Sheldon: It's axiomatically atypical. Up until recently, they did not know Alicia, and had no encounters with her in a previous location. They never went upstairs to visit the former tenants, so your characterization of their behavior as typical Is demonstrably fallacious.
Penny: Okay, now I see the giant squid head.

Alicia: Cool t-shirt.
Penny: Oh, yeah, I don't usually dress like this. I'm going jogging.
Sheldon: You don't jog.
Penny: I can start.
Sheldon: True, but the more likely explanation for your attire is that you're out of clean clothes again.
Penny: Thank you, Sheldon.
Sheldon: You're welcome, Penny.

Sheldon: Did you remember to ask for the chicken with broccoli to be diced, not shredded?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Even though the menu description specifies shredded?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Brown rice, not white?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: You stop at the Korean grocery and get the good hot mustard?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Did you pick up the low sodium soy sauce from the market?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Good. See how it's done, Leonard?

Wolowitz: According to Alicia's Facebook page, she's hooking up with one of the producers on CSI.
Penny: Dead whore on TV, live one in real life.

Sheldon: Hold on. You honestly expect me to believe that social protocol dictates we break our backs helping Wolowitz move, and then he only need buy us a pizza?
Leonard: I'm sorry, that really is how it works.
Sheldon: You're tricking me. You tell me the truth. What do we get?
Leonard: Raj, help me out here.
Raj: You get to choose between a mountain bike or a PS3.
Sheldon: I knew it! PS3, definitely PS3. Who would pick a mountain bike?

Sheldon: The horror!
Penny: Sheldon, I'm sure it's going to be fine.
Sheldon: No, it's not going to be fine. Change is never fine. They say it is, but it's not.

Penny: Okay, did you even know the people that are moving out?
Sheldon: I never met them. That's what made them perfect. There were no awkward hellos in the halls. There's no clickety-clackety of high-heel shoes on hardwood floors. They may as well have been a family of cats just jumping around from drape to drape. And without that annoying ammonia urine smell.

Penny: Is Leonard around?
Sheldon: He's upstairs at Alicias.
Penny: Oh. all right, that's cool, no biggie. He said he'd help me set up my printer, but I guess I can wait. What exactly is he doing up there?
Sheldon: In what I can only perceive as a tactical move to destroy me, he is with Wolowitz and Koothrappali setting up her stereo.

Wolowitz: Penny, let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly ravishing today.
Penny: Not with a thousand condoms, Howard.
Wolowitz: So there is a number.

Penny: I cannot believe they're letting her just use them like that. I mean, anything she wants, they go panting after her like trained dogs. You know that just last week, she had Howard drive all the way to her uncle's house in Orange County to pick up her TV?
Sheldon: You once had Leonard and me get your television from your ex-boyfriend.
Penny: Apples and oranges here, Sheldon. I'm telling you, that girl is a user, ice-skating through the life on her looks, taking advantage of innocent weak-willed men, getting auditions for stupid network shows. It creams my corn.

Sheldon: Listen to that! 'Stomp, stomp, stomp.' It's Wolowitz and his stacked heels that fool no one.

Howard: Enough with the guilt, ma. We'll still see each other. I'll come over every night and have dinner with you.
Mrs. Wolowitz The hell you will! What am I running here, a fancy restaurant? Does this look like the Olive Garden?

Howard: Shucks means shucks. Let one go once in a while.