Leonard: Come on, you enjoyed the movie. I saw you tearing up when the village got flooded, and everyone had to relocate.
Penny: No, I was thinking how come they get to leave and I can't.

Leonard: I'm going to get some fries. You want anything?
Penny: Uh, no, thanks.
Leonard: Are you sure? Because you always say no, and then you eat half my fries.
Penny: I just eat the little crispy ones you don't like.
Leonard: No, I love them. I save them for the end, but they're gone because you ate them. And why did I let you eat them?
Penny: To get sex.
Leonard: Exactly.
Penny: All right, I'd like an order of fries.
Leonard: Great. That'll be five dollars. I am having the best time. I'm so glad you suggested we do this.

Leonard: You're going out of your way to talk to that guy because I said we weren't on a date.
Penny: No, I'm talking to him because hes cute.
Leonard: Come on, he's not that cute.
Penny: Yes, he is. With his dorky T-shirt and his little hipster glasses.
Leonard: I wear dorky T-shirts and glasses.
Penny: Yes, but when you're tall and have great cheekbones, you're doing it ironically.

Sheldon: You're biologists. Biology is the study of living things. That's a living thing, get cracking.
Bernadette: I specialize in microorganisms, and Amy studies brains.
Amy: Yeah, neither of us minored in bird-shooing.
Sheldon: Oh, come now. Your undergraduate work must have included a varmints and critters class.

Amy: Sheldon, the only way to get past this fear is to interact with it. Just like you did with the mailman.

Sheldon: Every year tens of people around the world are killed by birds. I'm not going to be another statistic.

Leonard: When you were telling Kevin about your acting career, did you mention your long-running role as Waitress in a local production of The Cheesecake Factory?

Sheldon: It's remarkable. All that time spent in fear. And for what? He's magnificent. Oh, dear. I just realized I haven't offered you a beverage.
Bernadette: Oh, it's just like my grandma with her parrot. And after she lost her marbles with her remote control.

Leonard: Okay. So, we went out, saw a movie, met some nice people, said horrible things about each other in public, all in all, a pretty magical night.
Penny: Okay, I'm not innocent in all this, but you basically called me stupid, you asthmatic dumb ass.

Sheldon: Congratulations? The Newcomb Medal? Oh, please. That's the scientific equivalent of a smiley face sticker on your homework.

Jimmy Speckerman: Aw, come on, you can figure it out. You're like the smartest guy I've ever know.

Sheldon: The smartest? All right, you know, I may not have the firmest grip on sarcasm, but even I know that was a doozey.

Leonard: Hey, for the record, Jimmy wasn't the reason I wet the bed. That one has my mother written all over it.

Penny: Okay. If you can't get me to stop eating your food, what makes you think you can get me to stop using your Wi-Fi?
Sheldon: I believe that you're capable of great change. Like when I finally got you to stop saying Valentime's Day.

Sheldon: Okay, Penny, if it were a game, here are your choices. An e-mail from an old acquaintance, or the head of one of the largest religious institutions in the world slam dunking to Sweet Georgia Brown. Pick.
Leonard: Just do it, 'cause he's not gonna let it go.
Penny: Basketball Pope.
Sheldon: And thats how it's done.

Leonard: It's two a.m. What are you doing up?
Sheldon: Nobel Prize acceptance ceremony streaming live from Stockholm.
Leonard: Sure. You want to see what all the scientists are wearing this year.