Sheldon: I am not a loser. Pictionary is not a true test of any real intelligence or skill.
Leonard: Mmm. In all fairness, Pictionary has verbal skills, visual skills. It's a pretty well-rounded game.
Sheldon: Lot of big talk from a man who can't draw a chocolate chip cookie.

Penny: So, how was work today?
Leonard: Ah, it was all right, I guess. Got to Heimlich a cherry stem out of Sheldon. Caught Raj right in the eye.
Penny: Oh, you're kidding.
Leonard: No, Raj had to go to the nurse.
Penny: Wow. Anything else?
Leonard: Mmm, the nurse is a woman, so he couldn't talk to her. She had to bring him a Grover puppet so he could point at what hurt.
Penny: Oh, is that it?
Leonard: Isn't that enough? It had the weaponized fruit and a puppet. What more do you want?

Sheldon: Oh, good, Leonard, you're here. Science news. This will interest you. And, Penny, feel free to paint your nails.
Leonard: What do you got?
Sheldon: I believe Alex may have unearthed the grade school science project that could be my ticket to the Nobel Prize. Behold.
Leonard: "Magnets: What Do They Stick To?" If the answer is metal, it's not exactly groundbreaking.
Sheldon: The original title was A Rederivation of Maxwell's Equations Regarding Electromagnetism. I dumbed it down because some of the more religious people in town were starting to say I was a witch.

Alex: Sheldon thinks the approach in this paper might change the way we calculate ferromagnetic hysteresis.
Penny: Oh, it's about time. I hated the old way.

Leonard: Where are we going?
Penny: My limbic system wants to take your pants off.

Alex: It's okay, I've been around scientists all my life. My dad's an astronomer at SETI.
Leonard: Oh, SETI, the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. You should introduce him to Sheldon. The search is over.

Alex: So, what kind of research are you doing?
Leonard: High-energy lasers.
Alex: Ooh. Military?
Leonard: Not yet, but I can remove unwanted hair from two miles away.

Amy: You were right. I had nothing to worry about. That skank's your problem, not mine.

Amy: Look at you, putting on a brave face.
Penny: There's nothing to be brave about. Everything's fine.
Amy: Really? I don't know how much you know about primate behavior, but Sheldon's assistant was clearly courting Leonard. Were she a mandrill, she would have bent over and displayed her brightly colored hindquarters like a big red welcome mat. By the way, you try that at the junior prom, you get kicked out.

Penny: Fine, it bothers me a little. No. You know what? This is stupid. It doesn't bother me. Okay, it bothers me. But only because she wouldn't stop laughing. Leonard is not that funny.
Amy: And there you have it, prefrontal cortex reasoning versus limbic lust. If this were a boxing match, they might call it the thrilla adjacent to the amygdala. If you were a brain scientist, you would be busting a gut right now.

Amy: Oh, yeah. I'm a man-eater now.
Penny: Okay, for the final touch, this is an eyelash curler. You just place it on your lashes and squeeze it closed.
Amy: Oh, I don't know. Looks like something used by Tinkerbells gynecologist.
Penny: Who I hope for her sake is not Captain Hook.

Penny: So, who are you calling?
Amy: I'm going to video-chat Sheldon. If my new look leads to phone sex, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the room.

Amy: I'd like to speak to Sheldon.
Alex: I'm sorry. Hes asked me to hold all calls unless you're Stephen Hawking, his mother or himself from the future.
Amy: All right. Well, tell him Amy called.
Alex: Last name?
Amy: He knows my last name. I'm his girlfriend. We have a contract and everything. I'll send you a PDF.

Alex: Here's your frozen yogurt, Dr. Cooper.
Leonard: This should be fun.
Sheldon: Half chocolate, half vanilla, side by side, not swirled?
Alex: Yes.
Sheldon: Half a teaspoon of sprinkles?
Alex: Rainbow, not chocolate.
Sheldon: Two cherries?
Alex: One on top, one on the bottom.
Sheldon: Stems removed?
Alex: Um, top one, yes. I didn't check the one on the bottom.
Leonard: Oh!
Alex: I'm so sorry, Dr. Cooper.
Sheldon: It's all right, Alex. I'm not mad at you, I'm just disappointed.

Howard: I don't know how much longer I can take this. I can't sleep, and zero gravity is giving me crazy acid reflux. I'm down to my last three Tums.
Bernadette: You're going to be fine. You survived that Weight Watchers cruise with your mom. And they ran out of low-fat ice cream on day two. Just calm down and take a few deep breaths.
Howard: Okay, okay. What am I doing? I'm using up all the oxygen. If I die, promise you'll never have sex with another man.