Leonard: So, Amy, what's going on with your addiction study?
Amy: Sadly, I'm no longer associated wtih that project.
Leonard: Why? What happened.
Amy: Typical bureaucratic nonsense. You can get animals addicted to a harmful substance, you can dissect their brains, but you throw their own faeces back at them and suddenly you're unprofessional.

Sheldon: I haven't seen Raj in several days. Is he no longer part of our social group? And if so, should we be interviewing for a replacement? Perhaps this time we go Latin.

Sheldon: *knock*.
Penny: Hey, what's up?
Sheldon: Ummmm.
Penny: You want me to close the door so you can do your knocking thing?

Amy: Yeah, yeah, you want a cigarette. Well, I'd like a normal boyfriend. Deal with it.

Howard: He's upset because he can't get anywhere with women.
Sheldon: Would it help if I gave him some pointers?
I'm just funnin' ya.

Penny: Let's try it again, and maybe this time, you could work on your body language a bit. You know, when you're all hunched like that, you're shutting the audience out, but when you're relaxed and open, you're inviting them in.
Sheldon: Right. And which one do I want?

Sheldon: Hello, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Welcome to Sheldon Cooper presents Fun with Flags. My apologies that this episode is coming late. I did shoot one last week in honor of Black History month, but I was informed by my roommate that my spot-on portrayal of George Washington Carver could be considered "wildly racist".

Howard: He's just decided he's never leaving his apartment again.
Sheldon: Oh, brilliant. I've been itching to pull that trigger.

Lucy: I'm kind of broken.
Raj: That's great. I'm broken, too.
Lucy: Oh, no you're not.
Raj: Oh, I totally am. If it wasn't for this beer, I couldn't even talk to you right now. I'm a wreck. There are many things seriously wrong with me. And not quirks, either. Like diagnosable psychological problems. Maybe brain damage.
Lucy: Well how do I know you're not just saying that?
Raj: Go out with me on one date. I promise you, you'll see.

Howard: We were worried about you.
Raj: Oh, just because I've stopped going to work and answering my phone, you think something bad has happened. Maybe something good happened.
Bernadette: Did something good happen?
Raj: Of course not. Nothing good ever happens.

Howard: He's just decided that he'll never leave his apartment ever again.
Sheldon: Oh, good, I've been itching to pull that trigger.

Howard: I'm telling you, something is wrong. I can always feel it when Raj is in trouble.
Bernadette: Geez, how close were you guys before we got married?
Leonard: Don't look under that rock.

Amy: As you know, I had planned a traditional evening of romance and gifts.
Sheldon: Yes, and as you know, I planned to pretend to enjoy it. I've been working on this facial expression all day.
Amy: And I appreciate your effort, but upon contemplation, I decided I was being selfish. So, I canceled our dinner reservations and came up with an even better way to celebrate Valentine's Day.
Sheldon: What is that?
Amy: By doing none of it. No dinner, no romance, no gifts. We stay here, order a pizza and watch one of your beloved Star War Trek things.

Sheldon: Okay, stop ruining Valentine's day and order my pizza.

Raj: I was going to spend the night with my special little lady, but she got worms and I had to take her to the vet.