Wil Wheaton: Problem, first-time director?
Sheldon: Oh, none that I could see. I saw a man who loved flags almost as much as I do. I got goose bumps.
Amy: He was overacting on purpose.
Sheldon: Really? He reminded me of a young William Shatner.

Wil Wheaton: Listen, Sheldon, I'm really happy to do this for you, but not if she's gonna be a huge pain in the ass the whole time.
Amy: You gonna let him speak to me like that?
Sheldon: Well, you're my girlfriend and I don't want you to be upset. Then again, Wil Wheaton's my friend and I don't want him to be upset. Hmm, this is a sticky wicket. (To Wil) What do you think?

Sheldon: My friend, Wil Wheaton.
Wil Wheaton: Hi, Sheldon. Thanks for having me. I’m excited to be here.
Sheldon: So, Wil, what do you have for us first?
Wil Wheaton: Well, this is an exciting one. This is the flag of the United Federation of Planets. Now what's interesting about this flag-
Amy: Cut.
Wil Wheaton: What was wrong with that?
Amy: It's called Fun with Flags. They're not at half-mast, nobody died. Let's try and keep it upbeat.

Sheldon: Now this week we have a very special episode where we explore the flags of the popular entertainment franchise, Star Trek. And to help me, I'm pleased to introduce Internet personality, former star of Star Trek: The Next Generation, and the only guy I know lucky enough to be immortalized in one sixteenth scale. Set phasers to fun for my friend, Wil Wheaton.

Sheldon: I'll be right back. Feel free to play with yourself.

Wil Wheaton: Hi, Sheldon. Thanks for having me. I'm happy to be here.
Amy: Cut.
Sheldon: What's wrong?
Amy: Sorry, Sheldon, you were brilliant as always. Wil, that was a little wooden.
Wil Wheaton: Wooden?
Amy: Don’t worry, it wasn't terrible. Just, this time, try to say it the way people sound.

Raj: I do have a pretty balls-to-the-wall moisturizing regimen.

Bernadette: Well, what if the Hulk picked up Thor while Thor is holding the hammer?
Amy: Yeah?
Bernadette: Then by the transitive property of picking things up, Hulk picked up the hammer.
Amy: No. Hulk picked up Thor, Thor picked up the hammer.
Penny: Okay, hang on. If I go to a bar and pick up a guy, and he picks up a girl, and then we all leave together, did I pick up the girl?
Amy: Did that ever happen?
Penny: Hey, are we talking about me or are we talking about Thor?

Leonard: Come on, let's just start walking. There's got to be a gas station or something nearby.
Sheldon: What, you think just because you're wearing a captain's uniform, you're in charge?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: All right.

Stuart: If I were you, I'd go for Fables number one. The artwork is sophisticated, it's intelligently written, and it doesn't objectify or stereotype women.
Penny: Ooh, Thor! He's hot.
Stuart: Yeah, he kind of is.

Raj: I'll call 911. What, oh, no, my phone is in my other pants.
Howard: Oh, so is mine.
Leonard: Mine, too. Anybody got any ideas?
Sheldon: Nope. The only thing left to do now is assign blame. (To Raj) Nice going.

Howard: So what's our first pose going to be?
Raj: I say we begin with a classic Star Trek fight scene.
Leonard: I'll set the timer.
Howard: Sheldon, how is that a fight pose?
Sheldon: Mr. Data's weapon is his mind. I'm wielding it.

Howard: Oh, my God. Leonard, someone's stealing your car!
Leonard: What? Hey, hey! Come back here!
Raj: Stop!
Sheldon: Stealing is against the law!

Stuart: Well, uh, let's see. You've got your basic clean-cut good guys, Superman, Spider-Man, Captain America. Then you have your darker anti-heroes, your Batman, your Wolverine, Punisher.
Amy: Ooh, I do love a bad boy.
Penny: As evidenced by your boyfriend and his fear of hamsters.

(The girls enter Stuart's comic book store)
Bernadette: Why are they staring?
Amy: Who cares? Just soak it in. Hello, boys.