Howard: We were worried about you.
Raj: Oh, just because I've stopped going to work and answering my phone, you think something bad has happened. Maybe something good happened.
Bernadette: Did something good happen?
Raj: Of course not. Nothing good ever happens.

Penny: Let's try it again, and maybe this time, you could work on your body language a bit. You know, when you're all hunched like that, you're shutting the audience out, but when you're relaxed and open, you're inviting them in.
Sheldon: Right. And which one do I want?

Sheldon: What's wrong?
Penny: I just think it might look more natural if you talked to me instead of the camera. You know, like a real conversation. It's something we work on in my acting class.
Sheldon: Interesting. A few people in the comments section have said that my delivery is robotic. Perhaps that's not the compliment it sounds like.

Amy: There are certain things that say to the world, I have a boyfriend and he's not made up. Matching cotumes, hickeys and sex tapes. Pick one.
Sheldon: What's a hickey?

Sheldon: How about one of the most beguiling and influential couples of the 20th century? Hewlett and Packard. Dibs on Hewlett.
What? You want to be Hewlett?

Penny: So, what ya doing? Better not be building a robot girlfriend.
Leonard: No. Although Howard was making some real strides in that area until he met Bernadette.
Penny: You're kidding.
Leonard: Nope. Now the Lisatronic 3000 just sits in a box waiting for the phone to ring.

Leonard: It's kind of crazy. I've never fooled around in the lab before.
Penny: Really? Never?
Leonard: No. I did have a shot with the Lisatronic, but the extension cord wasn't long enough.

Leonard: Oh, you don't have any jewelry on, do you?
Penny: No. Why?
Leonard: A grad student forgot to take out one of his piercings. Now he's on a transplant list waiting for a nipple his size.

Sheldon: A Tardis makes no sense. It's a time machine from a science-fiction show. it has nothing to do with Halloween. That being said, if you don't get a Tardis, you stink and your party stinks.

Stuart: "To Stuart, your comic book store is out of this world. Just like the guy in this picture was."
Sheldon: For the record, he also thinks Walgreens and the dry cleaners are out of this world.
Howard: That's not true. At Walgreens I was over the moon for their store-brand antacids.

Raj: Would you like me to help? I do have a certain je ne sais quoi when it comes to soirees.
Stuart: Thanks, but I can't afford je ne sais quoi. How much for just quoi?

Bernadette: I just think in relationships you get back what you put into them.
Amy: That's not always true. Last night, I gave Sheldon my best come-hither look, and he responded by explaining how wheat came to be cultivated.

Amy: I think I'm gonna try green tea mixed with lemon zinger.
Sheldon: Two tea bags in one cup? You're not at a rave.

Sheldon: Couples costumes are one of the few benefits of being in a relationship. Now imagine this, you and I entering Stuart's party and all eyes turn to see America's most beloved and glamorous couple.
Amy: Yeah?
Sheldon: R2-D2 and C-3PO. Dibs on 3PO.

Howard: The other astronauts are being mean to me.
Bernadette: What are they doing?
Howard: Well, like for instance, the other day when I was asleep, one of the guys went on a space walk and glued a big-eyed rubber alien mask to the outside of my window. When I woke up, I screamed for like nine minutes.
Bernadette: Oh, Howie.
Howard: You can see it if you want. It's on YouTube. Google astronaut screams for nine minutes.