Sheldon: I don't mean to be rude or discourteous, but before we begin. I'd just like to say there's absolutely no scientific evidence to support clairvoyance of any kind. Which means - and again, no insult intended - you're a fraud, your profession is a swindle, and your livelihood is dependent on the gullibility of stupid people. But again, no offense.

Penny: Wow, you really struck a nerve. I've never heard him use the M-word before.

Psychic: He should give himself to this relationship. Once he does, all his other pursuits will come into focus.
Penny: Sheldon, you hear that? Amy is the key to your happiness.
Psychic: Exactly. Personally and professionally. Everything will fall into place once you commit to her.

Sheldon: For your information, I was asking her about the next Star Trek movie.
Penny: I can answer that one: I'll be bored.

Psychic: Your spirit guides are telling me there's a woman in your life you're having problems with.
Sheldon: That's an easy guess. I'm clearly an annoying person. I have trouble with both genders.
Psychic: Yes, you clearly are.

Bernadette: I have to go. Penny ratted me out. FYI, she's getting you a watch for your birthday with money she took out of your wallet.

Sheldon: You know what this is? And I reserve this word for those instances when it's truly reserved. This is malarkey.

Penny: So we're about to film this scene in the movie where the killer ape DNA is slowly taking over my body.
Leonard: Okay.
Penny: But I realize they're gluing fur everywhere except my cleavage. So I ask the director and he says it's important to the story that my boobs be the last things to turn ape.
Leonard: It's sweet that he thinks there's a story.

Leonard: Great. What do you want to do?
Sheldon: I don't know. What do you want to do?
Penny: I don't know. What do you want to do?
Leonard: I'm starting to remember the problem with Anything Can Happen Thursdays.

Leonard: Hey, how about we bring back Anything Can Happen Thursdays?
Penny: That's good. Why'd you guys stop doing that?
Leonard: You made fun of us. Said it was stupid.
Penny: Yeah, sounds like me.

Barry Kripke: Excuse me, fellas. Sorry for eavesdropping, but there actually was some big string theory news out of the Hadron Collider.
Sheldon: Really? Did they find evidence to support extra dimensions or super-symmetry?
Barry Kripke: No, but they did find evidence you'll believe anything

Sheldon: As hard as this is I have to move on. I can't keep postulating multi-dimensional entities and get nothing in return. I have needs too!

Bernadette: Where are you going?
Howard: I need some fresh air.
Emily: Been there!

Penny: What's wrong with geology?
Sheldon: Let me put this in a way you'll understand, Penny. You remember you explained to me that the Kardashians aren't real celebrities? Well geology is the Kardashians of science.

Sheldon: This seemed so elegant at the time, but now I realize I was just a dumb country boy seduced by a big city theory with variables in all the right places.