Bernadette: How's your soup?
Howard: It's all right. They could have filled the bowl a little more.
*Raj and Emily start laughing*

Howard: I hope I can meet her as soon as possible.
Raj: Why the rush? She isn't going anywhere.
Howard: Oh, she is. But I like that attitude!

Bernadette: Where are you going?
Howard: I need some fresh air.
Emily: Been there!

Sheldon: It suggests I set these on fire, but the smell of burning books reminds me of church picnics in East Texas.

Sheldon: (on Stephen Hawking's voice mail) I kiss girls now.

Sheldon: This seemed so elegant at the time, but now I realize I was just a dumb country boy seduced by a big city theory with variables in all the right places.

Raj: We have to go over some ground rules about Emily.
Howard: Like when it turns out she's made of rubber, I don't say anything?
Raj: She's very real.
Howard: That's what it says on the box. Right next to dishwasher safe.

Howard: I promise I'll be on my best behavior.
Raj: You better be. No jokes about how close I am with my dog. Or the truth about how close I am with my dog.

Sheldon: I suppose I could see myself in a scientific boyband. Of course I'd be the dreamy one and the smart one.

Leonard: Why did I pee before I decided to move in here?

Leonard: Does it at least pay well?
Penny: Less than I made at the Cheesecake Factory.
Leonard: What does your agent think?
Penny: She's thinking of taking a job at the Cheesecake Factory.

Bernadette: I like the Wii.
Sheldon: Thanks, Grandma.

Sheldon: Boy, do I have to urinate.
Leonard: If only there were a solution to that.

Leonard: Two women at the same time? Nice job, playa!
Penny: Really?
Leonard: Was it the two women thing or the "playa"? ... It was the playa.

Sheldon: I had the same feeling when I made my dad buy a betamax instead of a VHS.
Amy: You were just a little kid.
Sheldon: A little kid who picked the wrong format to record the MacNeil/Lehrer Report.