Leonard: You're too close to it, but Amy has had a huge impact on your life.
Sheldon: You're right. Without realizing it, I have allowed that women to alter my personality.
Leonard: Sheldon, you didn't have a personality. You just had some shows you liked.

Penny: Oh, please. When I first met you, you were incapable of touching another human being. Now you're holding hands, going on dates, you even made out with her on a train.
Sheldon: She told you?
Penny: Of course she told me. It's the most interesting thing that's ever happened to her in her entire life.

Sheldon: I have spent years turning this lump of clay in to an acceptable conduit for my will. Then you came along and reshaped him with your new fangled ideas and fancy genitals.

Sheldon: My spot on the couch has a great view of a window. Sometimes I can see space battles through it. It's called a TV.

Howard: Hey. Good news, somebody in this room gets to take a ride on a rocket.
Bernadette: Fine. Can I at least shower first?
Howard: No, not that. Although you already agreed to it, so no takebacks.

Leonard: You make a lot of sense. I like this table and I'm getting it.
Penny: Really, this one?
Leonard: That one.
*Penny nods*
Leonard: Damn right I like that one.

Penny: You're a grown man. You should be able to pick whichever Hobbit you want. ... I wish you wouldn't, but one problem at a time.

Raj: I just want you to know I'm happy to look in on Bernadette while you're gone.
Howard: Thank you.
Raj: And if anything were to happen to you, we will name our first born son Howard. I'm just kidding, we'll name him Daleep after my grandfather.

Penny: Ooh, this one looks nice.
Leonard: No, Sheldon doesn't like reclaimed wood.
Penny: Why not?
Leonard: He's afraid the original owners will come back.

Sheldon: Wait, is this really worth it? We've lived together for years without ne'ery an argument, but we start talking about a table and suddenly we're at each other's throats.
Leonard: Ne'ery an argument?! Ne'ery!?!
Sheldon: That means not one or not any. Maybe instead of a table you should buy a dictionary.
Sheldon: (To himself) Well, I don't know whether I won that but at least he's upset.

Raj: This is so much better than watching TV like a muggle.

Raj: This (wand remote control) might be my second favorite brown magic wand.
Howard: Well, that's the last time I play with that.

Penny: You guys never use that space up there. Why not get a table?
Sheldon: Do you want the long answer or the short answer?
Howard: How come we never get that option?

Raj: Ha ha, very funny. Make fun of the foreign guy. For your information, there are four times as many Indians as Americans so the way we say it is right.
Howard: Say what?
Raj: "Moose-stache".

Sheldon: Think of me as Arthur Dent in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, lying in front of the bulldozers to protect his home.
Leonard: If you'll recall, the Vogon fleet blew up the Earth anyway.
Sheldon: It's a made up story, Leonard. I don't know why you're even talking about it.