Leonard: Penny and I are going to go shop for a dining room table. Do you want to come with us?
Sheldon: I'd love to, but I'm too busy falling back in love with Windows 98.
Leonard: Seriously? You haven't used this desk in years. The second I want to get rid of it you're up here working.
Sheldon: I can't talk right now. I have several thousand updates to install.

Sheldon: Think of me as Arthur Dent in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, lying in front of the bulldozers to protect his home.
Leonard: If you'll recall, the Vogon fleet blew up the Earth anyway.
Sheldon: It's a made up story, Leonard. I don't know why you're even talking about it.

Sheldon: How many trains have you been on?
Eric: Tons. A box fell on my head at UPS six years ago. Now I just collect disability and ride trains.
Sheldon: Wow. Your life's amazing.
Eric: Not always. A box fell on my head at UPS six years ago. Now I just collect disability and ride trains.

Raj: I'll point out her name's Yvette and that she's a vet. That's hysterical! She'll love it.

Sheldon: I made a new friend who likes trains as much as I do, I kissed Amy on the lips, and the conductor played his banjo for me.

Sheldon: Well, my new friend's name was Eric, Amy's lips tasted like the brownie we had for dessert, and the banjo-playing conductor was missing a finger but made up for it with his can-do attitude.

Leonard: Hang on, hang on. Are all those things equal to you?
Sheldon: Hmm, it never occurred to me to pick a favorite.
Leonard: Give it a go.
Sheldon: I can't answer that without collecting additional data.
Leonard: "Additional data", you dog!
Sheldon: I'm not sure how listening to other nine-fingered banjo players makes me a dog, but all right.

Sheldon: Well, if you want romance then let's have romance. Oh look, there's wine. Mmm, grape juice that burns! Now let's gaze into each other's eyes. You blinked, I win.
Amy: Sheldon!
Sheldon: Let's see what's next. Oh, kissing's romantic.
*Sheldon kisses Amy*
Amy: That was nice.
Sheldon: Good.

Sheldon: What is your problem?
Amy: It's Valentine's day. We're supposed to be having a romantic weekend.
Sheldon: Oh, really? 'cause I remember you saying this trip was going to be something we could both enjoy. Did you mean that or were you just trying to trick me?
Amy: Fine, it's true. I deserve romance and I didn't know how else to make it happen.

Leonard: Thank you for all your help.
Penny: Sorry if you didn't think we were taking it seriously. We love animals.
Yvette: Oh, do you guys own any pets?
Penny: No.
Yvette: Good.

Sheldon: The conductor said if I come back to the engine room, he'd show me how to take the train through a crossing.
Amy: Okay. Have fun.
Sheldon: Do you want to come with me?
Amy: Really? I do!

Raj: Cinnamon, she gave me her phone number! If I'd known it was that easy, I'd have considered poisoning you months ago.

Amy: I don't know what made me think tonight would be any different.
Bernadette: Well just the fact you got him up here says a lot. To be honest, I bet Howie $200 that it wasn't going to happen.
Howard: I'm going to the Lego Store to get a big-ass R2D2.
Bernadette: See, it's not just Sheldon, they're all idiots.
Howard: She's right.

Howard: You okay?
Amy: Why? Because my boyfriend's off playing choo choo with some weirdo.
Howard: Well, to be fair, they're both weirdos.

Leonard: They've been in there for like half an hour.
Penny: Yeah, for future reference that's a while.