Beverly Hofstadter: Hello, Leonard.
Leonard: Hi, mom. I have some exciting news.
Beverly Hofstadter: I'm listening.
Leonard: Before I tell you, will you promise to try and be happy for me and keep any concerns you have to yourself?
Beverly Hofstadter: No.

Beverly Hofstadter: Let me save you all of your hemming and hawing. Sheldon already told me that you and Penny are engaged.
Leonard: I hate that you talk to him more than you talk to me.
Beverly Hofstadter: Would you like for me and you to talk more?
Leonard: You know, it's probably fine.

Raj: Boy, I'm so hungry today. I wonder why.
Howard: Because you had sex the other night?
Raj: You know what, that might be it. By the way, it isn't like riding a bike. I fell off a few times.

Penny: We're engaged!
Raj: Wow. I thought me having sex with Emily was going to be the big news.
*Amy, Bernadette, Howard and Sheldon rush to Raj*
Leonard: Hey, hey. What the hell?!
Bernadette: You guys propose all the time, this never happens.
Penny: You're right. Yay!
*Leonard & Penny go to celebrate with Raj*

Stuart: I don't mean to be rude, Sheldon, but my life is kinda falling apart right now.

Bernadette: You're not working. How'd you like a job in home healthcare?
Penny: Not a chance.
Bernadette: Please, I'm desperate.
Penny: No.
Bernadette: I'll pay anything you want.
Penny: Okay then, yeah.

Amy: You know, this might work out for the best. You're always complaining about what a terrible roommate Leonard is. Like how he turns up the thermostat when you're not there.
Sheldon: Euck, it's like walking into the Amazon. And not the good Amazon with one-day shipping, the awful one with birds and snakes.

Beverly Hofstadter: In any event, while I've had my misconceptions about *Penny*, Sheldon spoke very fondly of her. And if she is good enough for him, then she's good enough for me.

Sheldon: I'm writing an appeal to the faculty senate so that I can move on from string theory.
Leonard: How's it going?
Sheldon: You tell me. "Dear esteemed colleagues. As you may know, I have requested to change my field of study. My decision to do so is, I believe, in the best interest of science. At your convenience, I'd be happy to explain it to you in words you'll understand."

Bernadette: She's just so impossible, they keep quitting.
Sheldon: So who's watching her now?
Howard: A bowl full of M&Ms with a few Ambien tossed in.

Amy: It actually sounds like he's doing pretty well.
Penny: I really think this is going to be for the best.
Leonard: Me too. And he was able to take a sabbatical -
*Amy starts hitting Leonard with a pillow*
Amy: How could you let him go!?

Amy: You hate the sound of all those keys on his keychain.
Sheldon: Four keys! Who does he think he is? A warden?

Sheldon: I'm helping you get back on your feet. I would like to purchase this comic book, please.
Stuart: It'll be $2.99.
Sheldon: Really? It's soaking wet.
Stuart: Fine, $1.

Leonard: It's nice that you called them esteemed.
Sheldon: You're right, I'll take that out.

Stuart: I was wondering if I could crash at your place for a few nights.
Raj: Sure, of course. Oh, actually Emily was going to spend the night.
Stuart: You slept with her? Nice.
Raj: I can't take all the credit. She let me do it to her.