Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not cry.
Howard: That's true, you'd rust.

Amy: I've never seen him (Sheldon) this happy before.
Leonard: That's because you've never seen him on "Restock the Medicine Cabinet" day.

Sheldon: Look, a new topical antihistamine with lidocaine. Wow! I can't wait 'til I get a rash.

Leonard: Ooh, Gasex has a new ultra-strength. I guess they really do read their mail.

Sheldon: Hey, isn't that Professor Proton?
Leonard: Oh, yeah.
Sheldon: Look at him just standing in line, like he wasn't moderately famous thirty years ago.
Sheldon: Let's go say hello.
Leonard: Oh, maybe we shouldn't bother him.
Sheldon: I'm not going to bother him. I'm going to talk to him.
Leonard: He thinks there's a difference.

Sheldon: Arthur! Arthur, it's me, Sheldon Cooper.
Professor Proton: Trust me, I remember.
Sheldon: This is television legend, Arthur Jeffries. His science show inspired millions of children.
Professor Proton: Hold on, you have a girlfriend?
Amy: Yes, and I've heard so much about you. Hey look, we're wearing the orthopaedic shoes. I can't believe I dress like a celebrity.
Professor Proton: Okay, I get it now.

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not get lucky.
Amy: You and me both, brother.

Raj: I don't call anyone a whore, and the only time I use the phrase "my bitch", I'm referring to you (Howard).

Raj: Leonard, give me a beat.
Leonard: I will not.

Howard: Oh, Bernie. What happened?
Bernadette: Let's just say the next time you move a dozen vials of raccoon virus to the fridge, make two trips.

Howard: You sure you're okay?
Bernadette: Yeah, it's just a precaution. If there were a problem I'd be throwing up through my eyeballs by now.

Penny: What's thoughtful is everything you do. Here, look at this. This is the plane ticket you bought me when I was too poor to go home for the holidays. And the rose you left on my windshield just because. Here's the thank you letter you wrote me after the first time I slept with you. All eleven pages of it.
Leonard: I can't believe you saved all this stuff.
Penny: Of course I did, it's you.
Leonard: Come here. ... Is that a pregnancy test?
Penny: Oh yeah, just the first one. I didn't save them all.

Sheldon: How do I make them stop loving me?
Leonard: You could invite them to live with us.

Penny: Bernadette is going to love this.
Leonard: Yeah, it must be nice to have somebody do something so romantic.
Penny: Okay, you know what's not romantic? Rubbing it in someone's face.
Leonard: Actually, it can be. But I told you sex doesn't count.

Leonard: I get that you feel bad about all the attention, but still what you did is amazing. We're really proud of you.
Amy: I'm not.
Sheldon: You're not?
Amy: Sheldon, I've been thinking about it and you're right. You don't deserve any credit. All you did was misread some numbers on a table. A very easy table, too. Honestly, I'm embarrassed for you.
Sheldon: That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard.
Penny: Damn it, everyone's better at this than me.
Sheldon: Congratulations, Dr. Fowler. You just made the fort.