Sheldon: Thanks for coming with me.
Raj: Thanks for inviting me when everyone else said no.

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a forklift?

Sheldon: That was awkward, right?
Raj: Uh huh.
Sheldon: Is it because she's dating you but was out with that other fella?
Raj: Yes.
Sheldon: Good. I thought she saw something on my forehead.

Leonard: Oh, I know. This might help. *Gets a ring out of his wallet*
Penny: Where did you get a ring?
Leonard: I've had it for a couple of years. Not important. Penny, will you marry me?
Penny: Oh, my God, yes.
Leonard: This would have been so much more romantic if you didn't have monkey hair on your finger.

Leonard: And you were so good in the commercial.
Penny: It was for haemorrhoid cream.
Leonard: And I got itchy and swolen just watching you.

Wil Wheaton: Wow, that fell apart really fast.

Raj: Wouldn't you be upset if you saw Amy out with someone else?
Sheldon: Can't happen. We have an iron-clad relationship agreement which precludes her from sexual contact with anyone other than me.
Raj: But you don't have sex with her either.
Sheldon: Slick, huh?

Penny: You know the only thing worse than a movie where they glue monkey hair to your ass, is getting fired from a movie where they glue monkey hair to your ass.

Leonard: Come on. How can you be sad when you're going home with all five foot six of this?
Penny: You think you're five foot six? That's funny.

Penny: I finally realize I don't need to be famous or have some big career to be happy.
Leonard: Well what do you need?
Penny: You, you stupid Poptart.

Raj: Oh, the movie's not as bad as you thought?
Penny: No, it is. But I decided instead of complaining about it, I'm going to go in every day and give it my all.
Amy: Good for you.
Penny: Thanks. There's no reason why I shouldn't be the best bi-sexual, go-go dancer, slowly transforming into a killer gorilla, anyone's ever seen.

Bernadette: Almost there. You're doing great.
Howard: Thanks for lifting my spirits. Next time, try lifting the box.

Leonard: This would have been so much more romantic if you didn't have gorilla hair on your fingers.

Howard: Of course you would. You're a loving person. I'm what my people would call a putz.

Raj: Can I make you breakfast? Admiral Ackbar's Snack Bar is open for business!