Raj: But before I take my shirt off, I need like ten minutes to do some crunches.

Sheldon: Have you had intercourse?
Raj: No.
Sheldon: Well stick to your guns. There'll be a lot of pressure.

Sheldon: How many women have you had dates with?
Raj: Eleven.
Sheldon: How many of those women did you think would become your perfect companion?
Raj: Eleven.
Raj: Wait, do I count the 200lb Sailor Moon girl that Howard and I had a threesome with at Comic-Con?
Sheldon: Sure.
Raj: I'll stick with eleven. She liked Howard better.

Raj: If she isn't going to use it, why are we doing this?
Howard: She'll use it. All I need is to rig it with a fishing pole and a honey-baked ham.

Leonard: Come on. How can you be sad when you're going home with all five foot six of this?
Penny: You think you're five foot six? That's funny.

Sheldon: Quite all right. After my forehead melanoma scare, I've learned not to sweat the small stuff.

Leonard: So is that it? Are we engaged?
Penny: Yeah, I think so.
Leonard: All right.
Penny: What's wrong?
Leonard: I'm not sure. It just feels a little anti-climactic.
Penny: Yeah, it kinda does, doesn't it?

Sheldon: I thought that subject had run its course, so I changed it. It's called reading the room, Amy.

Bernadette: After two days of taking care of her, excuse me for stopping to get a mocha?
Howard: A mocha?! Well, it must be nice to be Queen.

Wil Wheaton: Wow, that fell apart really fast.

Leonard: So I'm like a bran muffin?
Penny: What? No, that's not what I'm saying.
Leonard: No, that's exactly what you're saying. I'm the boring thing you're choosing because I'm good for you.
Penny: What does it matter? I'm choosing you.
Leonard: It matters a lot. I don't want to be a bran muffin. I want to be a cinnabon, a strawberry pop tart. Something you're excited about, even if it could give you diabetes.
Penny: Sweetie, you can be any pastry you want.

Penny: I finally realize I don't need to be famous or have some big career to be happy.
Leonard: Well what do you need?
Penny: You, you stupid Poptart.

Wil Wheaton: Forget it, man. It's crap. Just move on to the next thing.
Penny: It's easy for you to say. You used to be famous.
Wil Wheaton: Hey, I just lost a job for you.
Penny: Okay, I'm sorry. You're famous.

Howard: The doctor says you've got to get exercise.
Mrs. Wolowitz: I get plenty of exercise.
Howard: Crushing my will to live isn't exercise!

Raj: Oh, the movie's not as bad as you thought?
Penny: No, it is. But I decided instead of complaining about it, I'm going to go in every day and give it my all.
Amy: Good for you.
Penny: Thanks. There's no reason why I shouldn't be the best bi-sexual, go-go dancer, slowly transforming into a killer gorilla, anyone's ever seen.