Sheldon: Now, I have all the ingredients except cardamom seeds. Do you happen to have any on you?
Raj: Sorry, I left them in my turban.

Sheldon: Oh, I'll make English Breakfast tea. They destroyed your culture, that's close enough.

Sheldon: Have you had intercourse?
Raj: No.
Sheldon: Well stick to your guns. There'll be a lot of pressure.

Sheldon: Thanks for coming with me.
Raj: Thanks for inviting me when everyone else said no.

Sheldon: Quite all right. After my forehead melanoma scare, I've learned not to sweat the small stuff.

Raj: Aren't you going to get 3D glasses?
Sheldon: I brought my own. No sense in risking "bridge of nose Herpes".
Raj: Is that a real thing?
Sheldon: Well, until they invent nose condoms, I'm not finding out.

Sheldon: That was awkward, right?
Raj: Uh huh.
Sheldon: Is it because she's dating you but was out with that other fella?
Raj: Yes.
Sheldon: Good. I thought she saw something on my forehead.

Wil Wheaton: Wow, that fell apart really fast.

Sheldon: *Laughs* Very good. Because a gorilla go-go dancer of any sexual preference would be out of place in a film about the Holocaust.
Leonard: It only gets funnier when you explain it, Sheldon.
Sheldon: I know.

Howard: Would you like me to play some Polish music while you carry her to the toilet?
Bernadette: You are a putz.
Howard: As advertised.

Leonard: I don't know. The bisexual, gorilla, go-go dancer in Schindler's list is tough to beat.

Howard: Of course you would. You're a loving person. I'm what my people would call a putz.

Howard: The doctor says you've got to get exercise.
Mrs. Wolowitz: I get plenty of exercise.
Howard: Crushing my will to live isn't exercise!

Raj: Oh, the movie's not as bad as you thought?
Penny: No, it is. But I decided instead of complaining about it, I'm going to go in every day and give it my all.
Amy: Good for you.
Penny: Thanks. There's no reason why I shouldn't be the best bi-sexual, go-go dancer, slowly transforming into a killer gorilla, anyone's ever seen.

Raj: If she isn't going to use it, why are we doing this?
Howard: She'll use it. All I need is to rig it with a fishing pole and a honey-baked ham.