Sheldon: I'll get the blankets, you Google how to have child-like fun.

Kevin Smith: Oh, I'm hanging up now.
Wil Wheaton: Don't you listen to him, buddy. You're awesome. You're one of the greatest directors of our time.
Kevin Smith: I don't have a part for you, Wheaton.

Leonard: Wil, I'm begging you. Please turn that off.
Wil Wheaton: Sure. *turns recording off* *turns recording on* And we're back.

Amy: Can you please pass the salt?
Sheldon: Sure. It's not like I was invited to Richard Feynman's house and having anything better to do.
Amy: Is this how the rest of the night's going to be?
Sheldon: I don't know the future.

Penny: What is the harm if I audition?
Leonard: Well, what if you get it?
Penny: I don't know, I make a movie, we could become rich and famous, win an Oscar, a Golden Globe and live an incredibly wonderful life.
Leonard: From a Kevin Smith movie?

Wil Wheaton: For those of you listening at home. How great is this?

Amy: I'd say Knox over Ticonderoga 'cause it's got the gold, and McBlanket over Sumter 'cause it has a higher thread count.

Sheldon: I can just picture them right now at Feynman's house. Probably discussing Schrodinger, and at the same time not discussing Schrodinger.
See, they're missing out on hilarious jokes like that.

Raj: What do you want to do?
Howard: I don't know. I... I'd just like him to go away. I can't deal with this.
Raj: All right, I've got your back.
Howard: Thank you. Come on. And I'd like to point out this wall just provided a lot of privacy!

Sheldon: Well, I'll give you three guesses why I'm so irritated.
Howard: Something happened different from the way you wanted it.
Sheldon: I guess news travels fast.

Penny: Okay, instead of protecting me, why don't you try being excited when something good happens?
Leonard: I'm always excited for you. I'm excited that you found this new job where you're making decent money.
Penny: Decent? I make twice what you make.
Leonard: Wait, twice?
Penny: Yeah.
Leonard: Like times two, twice?

Penny: Leonard, why are you making such a big deal out of this? So our roles have changed a bit over the last couple of years. That's the way life is. And I'm sure, in time, they'll change again.
Leonard: Great. Not only are you more successful than me. Now you're more mature.

Amy: Can I come in?
Sheldon: Yes, oh, but enter through the side. Batman is a load-bearing blanket.

Amy: Oh, ten o'clock. Date night's over.
Sheldon: What? No. We haven't picked a winner.
Amy: We both know this one's gonna win.
Sheldon: Well, of course we do. Fort Knox doesn't have a secret physics lending library.

Sheldon: It reminds me of when my stupid brother and sister would build forts in the living room, and wouldn't let me in. I hated that so much.
Amy: You know, there's nothing I can do about getting you invited to the symposium, but if you wanted we could build a fort.
Sheldon: Isn't that a little juvenile?
Amy: More juvenile than this? *Puts up picture of smiling Sheldon to her face*