Amy: Have you made a decision about the TARDIS? I think I can sell it if we call it Big British Portapotty.

Sheldon: I'm so excited. And I just can't hide it.
Leonard: Oh. I'm about to lose control. And I think I like it.
Sheldon: What are you talking about?

Howard: Come on, one day this may double in value and be worth half what I paid for it!

Leonard: We don't have an appointment. And we don't belong here, but we're like crazy big fans. Crazy for Star Wars crazy, not like we have a backpack full of duct tape. Although we do have a backpack that you really don't want to look in.

Sheldon: I can see the ranch, Leonard! Oh, it's rustic, it's lovely. I'd take a picture, but people are chasing me. I'm going to make it! I'm going to make it! They have tasers, but they wouldn't dare use-- Aaaaaaah!

Howard: Did you play badminton or sadminton?

Leonard: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Shedding the yoke of my oppressors, you blind, sad little man.

Sheldon: Boy, some people are just glass-half-empty.
Leonard: The glass is empty, Sheldon. It's completely empty. If you gave that glass to a man who was dying of thirst, he would be dead. Do you know why?
Sheldon: Before I answer, was he a smoker?

Bernadette: If this doesn't get him in to your bedroom, nothing will.

Bernadette: Come on, get in her head. Be intimidating.
Raj: Okay. I'm gonna own you bitch!
Penny: Whoa!
Bernadette: Hey!
Raj: Let's just play.

Howard: You know, I thought our friendship meant more to you.
Raj: So did I.

Sheldon: What if I told you that I was the voice of Yoda? A recording session I must attend.

Bernadette: You know, Amy, I can't help but wonder how Sheldon would react if the TARDIS was at your place.
Howard: Don't listen to her. Just hit the ball.
Amy: Keep talking.

Bernadette: Hey, Raj, if Howard can't keep the TARDIS, how great would it look at your place?
Raj: What?
Howard: Yeah, what?
Bernadette: I don't know much about Doctor Who, but if you were to put this right outside your front door and open up the back, it would be like your entire apartment is the inside of the TARDIS. Which is pretty cool because on the show, the inside of the TARDIS is bigger than the outside. But then again, I don't know much about Doctor Who.

Bernadette: Don't listen to him. All she's got is a serve. Now grab a fresh tampon and put her away.