Emily: You aren't scared, are you?
Raj: Of ghosts, no. Of you, little bit.

Raj: You're one to talk. You've been complaining about Stuart living here for the past year. I don't see you showing him the door.
Howard: That's not the same thing. Emily's a person. Stuart's more like an infestation, something you spray for.

Raj: You guys ever notice that Emily has a bit of a twisted side?
Bernadette: You mean 'cause she has weird tattoos?
Raj: No, because she wants to have sex with me in a graveyard.

Bernadette: I think if Raj wants to break up with a girl, he can do it.
Howard: How are you saying that with a straight face?
Bernadette: *laughs* I don't know.

Penny: All right, well, I want it in a church.
Leonard: Fine. I want black-tie.
Penny: Fine. I want to release butterflies.
Sheldon: Seriously? Airborne worms?

Stuart: I felt bad for finishing your yoghurt, so I bought more. And, Howard, your favourite fruit is in season. Crunch Berries.
Bernadette: Don't let that sway you.
Howard: It's hard not to. They taste so much better than real berries.

Amy: Sheldon, do you understand the irony of your fixation on a man with super speed, while after five years all I can get out of you is a distracted make-out session on a couch?
Sheldon: Irony's not really my strong suit.

Emily: Look, Raj, be honest with me. If you want to end things, just do it. Don't expect me to do it for you.
Raj: End things? I'm trying to tell you that I love you.

Leonard: What am I supposed to do?
Penny: Err, keep your mouth off other women.

Penny: Wow, there's a Denny's in Vegas you can actually get married in.
Leonard: Doesn't sound very romantic.
Penny: Yeah, but we could get heart-shaped pancakes.

Sheldon: Oh, good. You're here. I need your assistance.
Leonard: Can it wait until I put a Band-Aid on a goat bite?

*Stuart's phone rings*
Howard: You need to take that?
Stuart: It's just my dad, probably calling to wish me a happy birthday. I'll call him back. You were saying?

Penny: Why is everyone so concerned with us setting a date? We're committed to each other. We're happy. A ceremony isn't gonna change anything.
Sheldon: So you're never getting married? It's his whining, isn't it?
Leonard: Sheldon, I'm not a whiner.
Sheldon: It's amusing that he doesn't hear it.

Penny: Look, I'm not happy this happened, but I think I can get past it. I mean, we weren't engaged at the time, and it was just kissing.
Leonard: Right. Just kissing. It wasn't even very good. She was a smoker. I'd just been seasick...
Penny: Okay, that's enough. Stop talking.

Sheldon: What happened?
Penny: Your buddy got mugged by some baby farm animals.
Sheldon: Been there.