Penny: Well, I can't read people's minds. Actually, that's not true, I can read men's minds, but only because it's usually the one thing.
Sheldon: When are we going to get robot eyes.
Penny: You're all alike.

Sheldon: What would constitute a perfect day for you?
Penny: Well, I'd probably sleep in. Do a little yoga. Then lie on the beach while cute cabana boys brought me drinks, and probably get a massage. Then probably cap off the night with some dancing.
Sheldon: That's it?
Penny: Yeah, why?
Sheldon: You didn't mention Leonard.
Penny: He's there.
Sheldon: I don't think so. Leonard can't stand yoga, the beach, massages or dancing.
Penny: Yeah, well, he brought a book.

Penny: What's yours?
Sheldon: I wake up. I enjoy some french toast with butter and syrup. Then a wormhole opens and whisks me millions of years into the future, where my towering intellect is used to save the last remnants of mankind from a predatory alien race.
Penny: Interesting you didn't mention Amy.
Sheldon: Who do you think made the french toast and syrup?

Leonard: Ladies,
Emily: Are you being polite or scared?
Leonard: Yep.

Sheldon: As a Texas gentleman, I'm inclined to say ladies first. Although, I'm concerned that level of politeness and charm may make you fall in love with me before the test even begins.

Sheldon: As much as I'd love to meet Euclid, inventor of the geometric proof, he probably wore sandals and I can not look at toes during dinner.

Sheldon: Oh, I know, the person I'd most like to have dinner with is myself.
Penny: You sure that's your choice, because I've had that dinner.
Sheldon: Well, I haven't. And although they say never meet your heroes, I just don't see how I could disappoint.

Sheldon: Who would you choose?
Penny: Robert Downey, Jr.
Sheldon: Oh. I didn't think of Iron Man. You know, maybe after myself and I have dinner, we could meet you two for dessert.

Emily: There's one downtown where they trap you in a room with a zombie.
Raj: Oh, so kinda like what's happening with Penny right now.

Sheldon: Just out of curiosity, Penny, if this experiment does make us fall in love, would you drive me to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, for Gary-Con. It's the only convention celebrating the life and work of Gary Gygax, the co-creator of Dungeons and Dragons.
Penny: You know what, I can honestly say if we fall in love, not only will I drive you there, I will buy you all the dragon t-shirts you want.
Sheldon: Okay, babe, let's do this.

Raj: I don't believe in tempting fate. Same reason I wouldn't use a ouiji board or pick a fight with an Asian guy. Probably doesn't know karate, but why risk it?

Raj: Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest?
Leonard: I can honestly say Penny.
Amy: Aww, then I choose a janitor, because I'm about to throw up.

Howard: Are you kidding me? You lost my mother's ashes?
Airline worker: No, I'm just saying that sometimes bags are misrouted.
Howard: All right, where did you misroute the only woman who ever loved me? The first woman - I meant first.

Penny: Raj, would you ever try an experiment like that with Emily?
Raj: I don't need science to win her heart, I have my family's wealth for that.

Sheldon: We're scientists, we can conduct our own research. I propose that we imprison two street people-
Amy: No.
Sheldon: You didn't even let me finish.
Amy: Forget it.
Sheldon: Oh, so you can experiment on all the apes you want, but I want to manipulate the emotions of two captive human beings, suddenly I'm the monster.