Penny: Shouldn't you be getting ready for work?
Sheldon: I'm not going. Would you like to know why?
Penny: You're sad about not getting any thing done last night, so you're gonna sit around and pout about it.
Sheldon: Boy, I'm not nearly as mysterious as I think I am.

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Raj: Go ahead. You can't embarrass me. I have a beautiful girlfriend and a dog who loves me so much she drinks my bathwater.

Howard: Okay, who was he talking to Emily or Cinnamon? "I want you to know the bed feels so lonely when you're not in it"?
Raj: Yeah, I might not be liking this game so much.
Leonard: Cinnamon. Give me another one.

Howard: Okay, "Check it out. I got us matching sweaters."
Leonard: We all got the Christmas card. Cinnamon.

Raj: You know a man can care deeply about a woman and a pet. It's not strange.
Leonard: Ooh, Emily. I heard him say that to Emily.

Sheldon: I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but when a mouse completes a maze, it gets a food pellet.
Amy: It also gets its brain plucked out with tweezers.
Sheldon: And its last meal was a food pellet? You're a monster.

Sheldon: I'd like to ask you all to do something for me. Keep me on my toes. Just throw me off my game. Essentially, go out of your way to make my life miserable.
Howard: Hold on. What's in it for us?
Sheldon: Well, I suppose-
Howard: Okay, we'll do it!

Amy: Why'd you pop it?
Sheldon: Sorry, I was aiming for your heart.

Amy: Look, your anxiety levels are right in the zone.
Sheldon: Really? Oh, that's fantastic. No wait, they're dropping. Why are they dropping?
Amy: Because you're happy they're elevated.
Sheldon: Oh, that is infuriating. Oh look, they're going back up again. Terrific. Oh no, they're going back down.

Raj: You know what, I think it's a little weird that you remember me saying all these things. Maybe the truth is you're jealous of all my relationships.
Howard: Oh. Maybe I am. Who wouldn't want to the girl - or possibly dog - to hear the words "You're so lucky. You have the shiniest hair."
Leonard: That is a tough one. I know he brushes both of them.

Penny: So, whichever rep has the best sales for the quarter gets a trip for two to Hawaii.
Amy: That would be so romantic for you and Leonard.
Penny: Yeah, clearly you haven't seen him on the beach walking around with his metal detector.

Sheldon: Ladies.
Penny: What's up?
Sheldon: As you may know, I have been experimenting with elevated anxiety levels, and I thought what better way to increase my discomfort than to subject myself to an evening of tasteless, uncensored crotch talk.

Penny: What exactly do you think goes on here?
Sheldon: Well, conversations that you wouldn't be comfortable having in front of the opposite sex. You know, who has the best cervix. Which sanitary napkin is all the rage right now. Men's buttocks and how you want to pat and squeeze them.

Penny: Sheldon, we are just people. We talk about the same things you guys talk about.
Sheldon: You talk about if werewolves can swim? See, Leonard says yes, but I say it depends on whether the human could swim before he was bitten. What do you think?
Penny: Let's just talk about our periods.