Raj: Sheldon, you busy?
Sheldon: I'm always busy. This mind is capable of advanced multi-tasking. Currently, I'm attempting to solve the Penrose Conjecture, I'm composing my Nobel acceptance speech for when I've solved the Penrose Conjecture, and I'm wondering how mermaids have babies.

Leonard: We keep procrastinating. We saw Back to the Future II, pigeons playing ping pong, a bunch of countries that look like genitals, and one guy whose genitals look like Denmark!
Raj: Yeah, sorry for clicking on that.

Bernadette: Have you ever seen a body so fine?
Amy: We had some pretty hot corpses in my anatomy class but none of them moved like that.

Bernadette: You're embarrassing me.
Amy: Oh, don't be embarrassed. I'll show you the divot in my spine.
Bernadette: What?
Amy: No, it's okay. I was born with it. If you put a double A battery in there, it makes my leg kick.

Howard: I can't argue with him, it's right there on the screen. Austria does look like a wiener.
Raj: That's nothing. Dude, go check out how hung Florida is.
Leonard: I'm sure Mrs. Florida's walking funny.

Bernadette: Guess who won a hundred dollars playing craps?
Penny: That's a dollar.
Bernadette: Guess who wildly over-tipped a cocktail waitress?

Amy: Penny, let's go. We found a place that has Australian male strippers.
Bernadette: We want to see if they twirl their junk in the other direction.

Penny: That sounds great but I have a little more studying to do.
Amy: Can you believe this nerd?
Bernadette: Come on, do you want to sit here being a loser, or do you want to watch me climb into an Australian man's G-string like a baby kangaroo.

Leonard: It wasn't until his twenty-first birthday that 1955 Biff placed his first bet.
Sheldon: Wow wow wow. Is 'placed' right?
Leonard: What do you mean?
Sheldon: Is 'placed' the right tense for something that would have happened in the future of a past that was affected by something from the future?
Leonard: 'Had will have placed'?
Sheldon: That's my boy.

Leonard: Wait, wait, is 'brought' right?
Sheldon: Marty never had have had brought?
Leonard: I don't know, you did it to me.

Sheldon: Therefore, the timeline in which 1955 Biff gets the almanac is also the timeline in which 1955 Biff never gets the almanac. And not just never gets, never have, never hasn't, never had have hasn't.

Leonard: You guys, what are we doing? We sent the girls away so we could focus.
Sheldon: I don't think it worked.

Amy: But enough about Penny, let's talk about us. We're looking good.
Bernadette: We are.
Amy: Better than good. I mean look at you, your body's bangin'.
Bernadette: Amy!
Amy: Don't Amy me. We're always talking about how hot Penny is. Come on, scientist to scientist, how big are those hadron colliders?

Howard: Hey, I didn't think you'd make it.
Raj: Why not?
Howard: Because you have a steady girlfriend now and we assumed you'd have to stay home to lower the food down to her in the pit.

Sheldon: Wait, I'm confused. Why would you need both a robot girlfriend and a robot prostitute?
Howard: There's just some things you don't do with your robot girlfriend.
Raj: Boy, when you met Bernadette, the field of robotics really took a hit.