Dr. Koothrappali: I'm tired of indulging your foolish lifestyle. It's time you learned responsibility. And the only way to teach you that is to cut off your allowance.
Raj: No, Daddy, no! There are lots of other ways to teach me responsibility. I know, you can give me an egg and make me take care of it for a week.

Dr. Koothrappali: No, my mind is made up. Starting now, you're on your own.
Raj: But, Daddy, I miss my family so much, and with you and Mummy getting a divorce, I feel sad and empty. Buying a little toy every now and then helps me fill that void. So while I can't hug you every day, flying that helicopter really makes--
Dr. Koothrappali: I'm cutting you off.
Raj: Just to be clear, financially or mid-sentence?

Sheldon: We did it! Oh! God, if it's this much fun to rotate, imagine when we fly it.

Penny: Hi.
Leonard: Hey, where'd you go?
Penny: I got you a little something to cheer you up.
Leonard: Really? Sex last night, pancakes this morning-- am I dying?

Penny: I called your old high school and convinced them to let you give your speech over Skype.
Leonard: Really? That's amazing. And you gave me the robes to give it in. Thank you.
Penny: Yeah, now about those, uh, they came from a costume shop, and all they had left was sexy graduate, so they might be a little short.
Leonard: Short and sexy, that's my wheelhouse.

Sheldon: You can't return it. Howard wiped his bottom with the warranty.
Raj: What?
Sheldon: I think metaphorically. But he was in the bathroom for a while.

Raj: Anyway, speaking of Daddy. I had a very strange conversation with him. He said he couldn't afford to send me money any more because of his active social life.
Mrs. Koothrappali: What does that mean, "active social life"?
Raj: Well, let's not talk about him or whatever shenanigans he may or may not be up to. Let's talk about you.

Sheldon: Sorry. Ah, maybe it's for the best. I hear locomotive smoke is the second leading cause of death among train aficionados.
Raj: What's the first one?
Howard: Suicide.
Sheldon: Wrong. Obesity.

Raj: You guys don't have to go to the trouble. I'm back in the money now. I can just buy another helicopter.
Howard: It's not about the money. It's about solving a problem. It's why I became an engineer. It's what I like to do, it's what I'm trained to do. It's who I am.
Sheldon: Oh, look at you, the little engineer that could.

Bernadette: I call tech support all the time.
Howard: You call tech support!
Sheldon: Ha-ha!
Raj: What a baby!

Raj: I'm so lucky I take after you.
Dr. Koothrappali: You think you take after me?
Raj: Well, I try to. I certainly wouldn't be a scientist if you hadn't been my role model.
*to Sheldon, Howard and Bernadette after talking to his dad*
Who wants to go to Vegas in a real helicopter?!

Leonard: So you really think they liked it?
Penny: Oh, sweetie, it was the best speech I--
*Drone comes through the door, knocking Penny and Leonard off their feet*
Sheldon: Don't worry, everyone in here is safe.

Amy: Do you think the moms will get along?
Leonard: I don't know. They're pretty different.
Sheldon: Maybe they'll be best friends. One of them is brilliant, one is sweet and simple.
*to Leonard*
Sound familiar?

Penny: How about we all stop hitting ourselves and talk about something safe? You know, like shoes, or how cute little Chinese babies are.

Beverly Hofstadter: But look how well you turned out.
Sheldon: I'd feign modesty at this point, but who would believe me?