Amy: Well, I just took your side 'cause sometimes I get annoyed at how close Sheldon and Penny are.
Leonard: Well, they argue all the time. They aren't that close.
Amy: Whos always comforting him when he's upset?
Leonard: Penny, but-
Amy: Who's the only one who can make him take his medicine when he's sick?
Leonard: I try to hide it in his peanut butter, but he spits it out.

Leonard: Oh, well, then you'll enjoy this. Bernadette does the same thing with you and Koothrappali.
Howard: No, she doesn't.
Leonard: She defends him all the time.
Howard: She does not.
Amy: Who told you to stop making all those Gandhi jokes about him?
Howard: Well, she did. And human resources.
Leonard: Who do you think told Koothrappali to go to human resources?
Howard: Son of a bitch.

Raj: All right, it's almost game time. Get it? Game of Thrones, game time?
Stuart: Two women, huh?

Penny: Amy, why did you tell him that?
Amy: Because you were defending Sheldon like you always do.
Penny: I don't always defend Sheldon.
Leonard: Oh, yes, you do. You know you have a weird brother-sister / Elliott - E.T. relationship with him.

Stuart: I was told this is where to go if I'm mad at Howard.
Penny: May I take your cloak?
Stuart: Thanks. This thing kept getting caught in the chain of my bike.

Stuart: Hey, Leonard.
Leonard: Stuart.
Stuart: Uh, is this not a dress-up party?
Leonard: No.
Stuart: Was it ever a dress-up party?
Leonard: No.
Stuart: Howard, didn't you tell me it was a dress-up party?
Howard: Yeah.

Howard: So what the hell happened?
Leonard: Oh, I just ran out of patience with Sheldon's nonsense.
Howard: Tell me about it. I've had it with Raj, too.
Amy: You know, like women, men have a monthly hormone cycle. Dips in testosterone can cause irritability.
Howard: Interesting. Maybe my male cycle synced up with Raj's actual period.
Leonard: If Sheldon's testosterone dipped, he'd become a butterfly.

Sheldon: Well, I'll catch you up. Uh, Penny is angry at Leonard, Leonard's angry at me and Penny, I'm angry at Leonard and Amy, Raj is angry at Howard, and I'm angry at George R.R. Martin 'cause there are no new books for me to spoil for Leonard.

Stuart: So what happened with you and Howard?
Raj: Says I was talking too much about dating Claire and Emily, and I accused him of being jealous.
Stuart: I'm jealous. Closest I've come to dating two women was that time I dated one woman.

Raj: Okay, I think I see what's happening here. You're jealous of me.
Howard: Oh, please. What could you possibly have that I would be jealous of?
Raj: It's not what I have, it's how many people I'm having it with.

Penny: Yeah, come on, Raj.
Raj: Wait, did Amy make her spinach dip?
Sheldon: She did.
Howard: And I'm gonna eat it all!

Raj: Hey, did I say something to upset you?
Howard: No, I'm fine.
Raj: Really? Because usually we walk side by side, and I just went up two flights of stairs staring at your bottom.

Howard: There you go again.
Raj: I'm sorry, have I been complaining about it too much?
Howard: Actually, what you're doing is pretending to complain, but really trying to brag.
Raj: How could you say that?
Howard: (imitating Raj) Oh, I wish could enjoy a cup of tea without a naked girl bouncing up and down on me.
Raj: I never said that.
Howard: (imitating Raj) Don't you hate it when you can't remember whose bra it is you found wedged in your couch?
Raj: Okay, that I said. But that's a real problem. You give a girl another woman's bra, and you will not be having sex with her that night. Maybe the other girl, but not her.

Howard: If it's a girl, I mean, they're so innocent and you know how guys are.
Raj: Totally, guys are the worst. I mean, look at me. I let Emily make me a frittata and I kept the leftovers in Claires fridge that night. I'm such a dog.

Amy: Well, I know how he feels. I never enjoyed our relationship agreement meetings.
Sheldon: Wait. You were pretending?
Amy: Sorry.
Sheldon: No. I don't believe you. I could tell.
Amy: (feigning excitement) Oh, Sheldon, I never thought re-filing a matter in a standing subcommittee could be so fascinating.
Sheldon: Hmm, what do you think?
Penny: You don't know?