Leonard: This meeting is a waste of time. Whether we make the switch from Post Raisin Bran to Kellogg's Raisin Bran should not require parliamentary procedure.
Sheldon: You realize one of them has sugar on the raisins.
Leonard: You're the only one who eats them.
Sheldon: And yet you get to weigh in. Democracy, it's pretty cool, isn't it?

Leonard: You're being ridiculous.
Sheldon: There's a motion on the floor, I'm ridiculous. Do we have a second? Hmm? Hmm? There is no second. The motion is denied. Next time, make sure you have the votes first. That was embarrassing.

Raj: Oh, that's Claire. Got to run.
Leonard: I thought you were back with Emily.
Raj: Uh, actually I'm seeing both of them.
Leonard: You mean like through their window from behind a bush?

Leonard: Really? The guy who for years couldn't even talk to women is suddenly going out with two of them? How is that possible?
Howard: I know. Scientists have tried to reproduce it with computational models, but, in each case, the world blows up.
Leonard: Seriously, that guy's dating two women?

Sheldon: I have a question about Batman. Batman is a man who dresses up like a bat. Man-bat is a part man, part bat hybrid. Now, if Man-Bat dressed up as a man to fight crime, would he be Man-Batman?
Leonard: No, he'd be Bat-Man-Bat.
Raj: But wouldn't Man-Batman just be a Batman that was bitten by a radioactive man?
Howard: But Batman is a man. You're talking about a man who would have the powers of a man. That's just Man-Man.
Sheldon: Well, isn't Man-Man just Man?
Leonard: But what if Man-Man dressed as a bat?
Raj: Well, that's just Batman.
Leonard: No, if a man dresses as a bat, that's Batman, but if Man-Man dresses as a bat, that's Batman-Man.
Howard: So does that answer your question?
Sheldon: Oh, I haven't asked it yet.

Sheldon: I like a party as much as the next man, as long as the next man doesn't like a party.

Sheldon: What, why did you get a party sub?
Leonard: People are coming over, it looked fun.
Sheldon: Well, we're only watching Game of Thrones. A party sub implies it's a party.
Leonard: Your attendance implies its not.

Howard: All right, here we go.
Bernadette: I'm not hearing anything.
Howard: Well, give me a second.
Raj: Are you sure you can do this?
Howard: Hey, who found four dollars and change on the beach with his metal detector?
Raj: I buried it there so we could go home.

Bernadette: (Hearing their baby's heartbeat) Wait, that's it.
Raj: Wow.
Bernadette: Isn't that the best?
Raj: You guys made a person.
Howard: We did.
Raj: And I like to think I helped.
Howard: You didn't.

Sheldon: Oh, never have I ever drunk milk past its expiration date.
Amy: Never have I ever canceled a dentist appointment.
Sheldon: Oh, uh, never have I ever put my foot in the ocean.
Amy: Never have I ever honked if I liked anything.
Sheldon: Oh, uh, never have I ever thrown, caught or touched a Frisbee.
Amy: Never have I ever put salt on my food without trying it first.
Sheldon: Oh. Never have I ever pushed all the buttons in an elevator.
Amy: Well, we all have a past.

Leonard: I love you.
Penny: I love you, too.
Leonard: You know, never have I ever made love in the forest while it was raining.
Penny: Well, guess I gotta drink.

Penny: I hate my job.
Leonard: Really? Why?
Penny: Because I don't feel good flirting with doctors for sales. I mean, I know I make a lot of money. But I haven't been happy for a while.
Leonard: Why didn't you tell me?
Penny: Because I know how important it is to you that I'm having some success.
Leonard: That's not true.
Penny: Okay, really? So you'd be fine if I went back to acting and waiting tables again?
Leonard: If that's what you want to do, yes.
Penny: Well, it's not what I want to do.
Leonard: Oh, yes.

Leonard: Okay, you have every right to be mad. And what you said is true. You do make more money than me. So I had no right to do what I did. And I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me.
Penny: How long have you had this secret account?
Leonard: A couple years, but I just put a few bucks aside every month for emergencies.
Penny: Well, how much you got in there?
Leonard: Six thousand, four hundred and twenty-seven dollars. Forty-seven dollars once my nana's birthday check gets here.

Leonard: Again, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept it a secret.
Penny: Well, I have a secret I've been keeping from you, too.
Leonard: Is it a secret bank account? Because that would be awesome.

Penny: My God, Leonard, do you know what I could do with that kind of money?
Leonard: No, I do, and that's why I hid it.
Penny: What good is it if you don't use it?
Leonard: Uh, you have shoes you love, but never wear. I have money I love, but never spend. We're kind of a cute couple that way.