Sheldon: Welcome to my Fortress of Shame.
Amy: I'm sorry. What, what am I looking at?
Sheldon: It's basically everything I've ever owned. Um, every book, every tee shirt, every piece of broken electronics. Just all of it.
Amy: All of it?
Sheldon: I have a Ziploc bag filled with all my old Ziploc bags.
Amy: Okay. Well, I would like to tell you that there is nothing here to be ashamed of. So I'm gonna need a minute.

Sheldon: In here is every clock radio I've ever owned. Calculators, VHS tapes. Yeah. Oh, sporting equipment.
Amy: You have sporting equipment?
Sheldon: Well, oh, it's just a golf ball that my brother threw at my head. You can still feel the dent. It's right next to the hockey puck dent.

Amy: Okay, why do you have a bin of pine cones?
Sheldon: I used to collect them as a child. The spiral of scales open in the Fibonacci sequence. A fact that, when you tell your brother, gets a golf ball thrown at your head.

Penny: All right, how are we gonna play this when they return?
Raj: I know. You guys should totally be making out with me.
Penny: Sweetie, I know you think jokes like that are funny, but do you really think you could handle making out with both of us? (Penny gets close to Raj)
Raj: No, ma'am.

Bernadette: Okay. Okay, how about this? They don't know you're here with us, so you hide in the closet. When they show up, we'll hear whatever their dumb story is about where they were, we'll pretend to believe them and just when they think they got away with it, you jump out.
Penny: Yeah, that's pretty good.
Raj: I love it, I'll be all like, "Busted!", and they'll be like, "What?", and then we'll all be like, "Oh, yeah!" Yeah, I get it. I wouldn't make out with me, either.

Raj: Oh. You know what? I'm gonna let them know that I'm here with you and that they're busted.
Penny: No. You know what? Don't, don't. Let's let them think they're getting away with it.
Bernadette: Yeah, let's see how deep a hole they can dig for themselves.
Penny: Mmm-hmm.
Raj: Interesting. I mean, it's not testicles on a cryostat, but I like it.

Cinema Worker: Hey, guys, thank you for being a part of our test screening. You're about to be one of the first audiences to see Suicide Squad.
Leonard: Hey, you were right.
Howard: Well, I keep telling you, good things happen to bad people.

Amy: Why do you have a storage unit?
Sheldon: Just wait.
Amy: How long have you had it?
Sheldon: Just wait.
Amy: Do you want me to hold that computer?
Sheldon: Just wait. You know what? Actually, yes, thank you.

Raj: Okay. Would you ladies please leave the room for a moment?
Penny: Why?
Raj: I need to rub my genitals on their prototype.
Bernadette: What's going on?
Raj: Leonard and Howard dont have a flat. They went to the movies. Look.
Penny: Un-freakin' believable.
Bernadette: Son of a bitch!

Cinema Worker: Uh, were gonna get started in a couple minutes. Enjoy.
Leonard: Who are you texting?
Howard: Raj. He really wants to see this movie.
Leonard: He'll never make it in time.
Howard: I know. I want to make him feel bad.
Leonard: "Ha, ha. Leonard and I are about to see Suicide Squad. Spoiler alert, when I see you I'm gonna spoil it." You're a good friend.

Bernadette: Since when do you work on weekends?
Raj: I'm an astrophysicist. The stars don't take a day off.
Penny: You were home alone and had no one to play with?
Raj: Well, the cleaning lady was there, but she doesn't like me.

Raj: Hey. Where are the guys?
Penny: Oh, they went to the store to get solder, which is metal you melt to make science things.

Leonard: What are we gonna tell the girls?
Howard: It's not a problem.
Leonard: I mean without lying.
Howard: And now you've made it a problem.

Amy: Will you please tell me where were going?

Sheldon: Sorry, you're on a need-to-know basis.
Amy: I'm driving the car. I need to know.
Sheldon: Right.
Amy: So where are we going?
Sheldon: No, I meant turn right, and you missed it. Maybe you do need to know.

Raj: Okay, that's cool. I guess everybody's involved in this project but me. So, see ya.
Bernadette: I feel bad. Should we have asked him to stay?
Raj: (From outside) Yes.