Amy: Consider tonight's episode a Valentine's Day gift for you, our viewers.
Sheldon: It's also my gift to you. That was clear, right? 'Cause you're not getting anything else.

Howard: Um, "taking care of an injured rabbit." Okay, make sure it's comfortable and warm. Well, it was just in a hot tub. I'm gonna say check.

Bernadette: It's not moving, but I think it's still alive.
Howard: Well, should we put it back in there a few minutes?

Amy: Since we're live, you'll finally be able to reach out to us with your flag thoughts and flag questions.
Sheldon: Allow us to answer a few quick ones that we get all the time. Uh, yes, I really am a doctor. Uh, yes, she really is my girlfriend.
Amy: No, I just blink a lot, it's not Morse code for "rescue me."

Howard: I'm gonna check the temp on the tub.
Bernadette: Don't make it too hot.
Howard: Sorry, but "too hot" is the only temperature I come in.
Bernadette: Look at that. You shaved it all.
Howard: You're welcome.

Leonard: Uh, bad news. The matre D' said it's gonna be at least an hour.
Penny: An hour? What? That's crazy. We have a reservation.
Leonard: I know.
Penny: So what did you say?
Leonard: "Thanks, sorry to bother you." But I said it like a badass.
Penny: All right, well, can't you, like, slip him some money or something?
Leonard: Really? I've never done that before. Does it work?
Penny: Do people like money - is that what you're asking?
Leonard: A lot of attitude from the woman who thought MC squared was a rapper.
Penny: Now, is that a smart thing to say on a holiday that's basically national sex night?
Leonard: I'm sorry. You're pretty, I'm stupid.

Amy: Okay, and we are live in 22 minutes.
Sheldon: I'm nervous. I hope people will be around to watch even though it's Valentine's Day.
Amy: People who are fans of an Internet show about flags? Trust me, they're around.

Penny: All right, my advice to you is do it at her place so you can leave when you need to. Uh, tell the truth, make it quick and be prepared for tears.
Raj: Oh, I'm gonna do a pre-cry before I go in there. Really dry myself out.
Leonard: She meant Emily.
Penny: No, I - I really didn't.

Penny: So, you really gonna break up with her?
Raj: Yeah, I think so. Do you have any advice?
Penny: Well, I have broken up with my fair share of guys. I mean, how many times did I break up with Leonard?
Leonard: I stopped counting at four.

Sheldon: Oh, and speaking of Valentine's Day, I haven't forgotten about you tonight.
Amy: What do you mean?
Sheldon: Well, you've become such an integral part of my life as well as this show, I felt it only right to include your name in the title.
Amy: Oh, that is so sweet.
Sheldon: So from now on, this program will be officially known as Dr. Sheldon Cooper and Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler present Dr. Sheldon Cooper's Fun With Flags.
Amy: Catchy.

Howard: Sorry, Bernie and I are breaking in the new hot tub, if you know what I mean.
Sheldon: Not a clue.

Sheldon: If any of you are looking for something to do on Valentine's Day, Amy and I'll be streaming our first-ever live episode of Fun With Flags. You're welcome to join us as we celebrate the timeless love affair between wind and flapping fabric.
Leonard: Penny and I have dinner reservations that night, but any other time, no.

Howard: You've been talking about breaking up with Emily forever. Why don't you just do it already?
Leonard: Yeah, just get it over with.
Raj: Well, you say it like it's easy. Have any one of you ever broken up with anyone?
Howard: No.
Leonard: Not really.
Sheldon: You know, uh, once I ordered an Uber by accident. I just got in and went somewhere.

Sheldon: Raj?
Raj: Spending Valentine's Day with Emily.
Leonard: You don't sound very excited about it.
Raj: Oh, I am, I am. I g... I guess I'm still wondering if Emily and I are right for each other.
Howard: Does this have to do with that girl you had coffee with?
Raj: You mean the strong, sexy angel I can't stop thinking about? Who can say?

Meemaw: Fine. If you feel so strongly, I won't stand in your way.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Amy: So if he wanted to give me that engagement ring, we would have your blessing?
Meemaw: I suppose.
(Amy rub's Sheldon's shoulder and smiles)
Sheldon: I just gave you my virginity, woman. Cool your jets!