Amy: Thanks for taking me out.
Penny: Well, you're spending your birthday with Sheldon. Why not celebrate early?
Bernadette: So, where do you wanna go?
Amy: I hear that new Mexican place on Green St. is good.
Penny: Sure, sure. Or, we could take you to get a bikini wax.
Amy: Why would I get a bikini wax for my birthday?
Penny: Oh, I don't know. It was just a thought.
Amy: I think I'll just stick to Mexican.

Bernadette: Great. And then maybe after, we can watch a dirty movie, and if I anybody has any questions about what happened or how, we can answer them.

Penny: Okay, let's just recap our options. We've got harp thing, sheep thing-
Bernadette: Wild thang.

Sheldon: Which do you think she'll prefer? Because I checked the Sheep and Wool website and there's only 8,000 tickets left.

Sheldon: Then it's settled. Amy's birthday present will be my genitals.

Stuart: Fine, take Wil. See if he brings you clam chowder.

Leonard: Hey, Stuart, got any plans Thursday night?
Stuart: My doctor's worried about my circulation so I was thinking about walking around the mall.

Leonard: What do you think about giving Sheldon's ticket to Stuart?
Raj: I don't know. Have you ever seen a movie with Stuart before?
Howard: It's like going with your grandpa. Instead of eating popcorn, he brings little pieces of chicken in Tupperware and a Thermos full of soup.

Sheldon: Well, as you know, I'll be celebrating Amy's birthday with her, and I could use your assistance in helping me select the perfect gift.
Bernadette: Sure.
Sheldon: So far I've come up with three ideas. The first, is a chance for her to play the harp with the L.A. Philharmonic.
Penny: Wow. You can really arrange that?
Sheldon: I said a chance. When you tell them it's your birthday at Bennigan's they make a fuss. I don't see why the Philharmonic would be any different.

Bernadette: How about something a little more realistic?
Sheldon: Well, Amy enjoys knitting her own sweaters, so I was thinking of getting her an all expenses-paid trip to the Wisconsin Sheep and Wool Festival.
Penny: (Silence) Sorry, I was waiting for the Bazinga!

Bernadette: Come on, it could be romantic. The two of them away together, keeping each other warm in snowy Wisconsin.
Sheldon: Oh, no, no, no, no. She'd be going alone. If you think I'm scared of birds, you should see me around sheep.

Penny: Well, what's the third option?
Sheldon: That I have coitus with her.
(Penny's wine glass smashes in her hand)

Sheldon: (3 knocks) Penny! (3 knocks) Penny! (3 knocks) Penny!
Bernadette: What happens if I say come in?
Penny: Well, find out.
Bernadette: Come in!
Sheldon: (silence)
(3 knocks) Bernadette! (3 knocks) Bernadette! (3 knocks) Bernadette!
Penny: Come in!
Sheldon: Keep it up. I've got nowhere else to be.
Bernadette: Just come in.
Sheldon: For future reference, if I want to watch Mean Girls, I'll just stream it on Netflix.

Raj: Good for Sheldon, deciding to stay with Amy on her birthday.
Leonard: I know. It's still gonna be weird to see the movie without him.
Howard: We could wait a couple of days and see it together.
*All three laughing*

Sheldon: This is my ticket to Star Wars. I don't need to tell you that it is worth far more than its face value of $15.50. I trust you'll give it to someone worthy.
(Sheldon hands the ticket to Leonard)
Leonard: You got it. Penny might want to join us-
(Sheldon yanks the ticket out of Leonard's hand and goes to Raj)
Sheldon: This is my ticket to Star Wars...