Sheldon: People are also delighted by your love of pranks. (Softly) For example, Leonard has no idea what I did to his coffee. It wasn't "replace it with Folger's crystals," I'll tell you that much.

Sheldon: This is Leonard. He's your best friend in the world.
Leonard: All right, just stop. This is ridiculous.
Sheldon: Sometimes he gets cranky, but you can trust him with your life. And he does more things for you than I can even begin to list.
Leonard: Thank you.

Penny: Oh, my God, he won't stop.
Leonard: How does he keep coming up with new ways to be annoying?
Penny: Nobody knows. That's why he's number one.

Penny: Can you please go talk to him?
Leonard: Come on, I take care of him all day long. You do it for once.
Penny: Once? Who got the gum out of his hair?
Leonard: What do you want, a medal? It was your gum.

Leonard: I love you.
Penny: Who cares?

Sheldon: What are you doing in my room? Stop it, that's mine! Why are you so strong?!

Raj: Maybe we should post a comment back to our fan and thank him.
Howard: What should we write?
Raj: Oh, how about, "We might be Footprints on the Moon, but your kind words sent us over the moon."
Howard: Someday you're gonna make an amazing grandma.

Raj: What do you want to write?
Howard: Something bad-ass. You know, like "Thanks for diggin' our vibe. "We'll keep rockin' if you keep rollin'."
Raj: Dude, if I was wearing a bra, I'd throw it at your head right now.
Howard: I'll keep rockin'. You don't do that.

Raj: He is so cool! No hard feelings, but I'm throwing my hypothetical bra at him.

Bernadette: So where's he taking you?
Amy: Oh, he's coming here. I'm actually making dinner.
Bernadette: Oh, that's a big step.
Amy: It is?
Bernadette: Yeah, you're inviting him into your home. It's intimate. It's where your underpants live.

Amy: Maybe intimate is what I need.
Bernadette: You sure? You've never really been with a man. Do you really want to start with one that's 6ft 7"?
Amy: Why not?
Bernadette: 'Cause it's like taking your driver's test in a bus.

Sheldon: Dear Crazy Future Sheldon, you were driven mad by an earworm. Your mind, once your most trusted asset, is now a sack of parrots and monkeys. So I'm going to tell you everything you need to know. Uh, first, music is dangerous. The movie Footloose tried to warn us, but we wouldn't listen.

Penny: I'll pay $1,000 to watch you cut footloose.
Sheldon: This is Penny. She is your friend. If she offers you food, it's safe to take it. You probably paid for it, anyway.

Bernadette: So, you're really going out with Dave again?
Amy: Why not? He's actually a very nice guy.
Bernadette: But he spent an entire date talking about how much he loves Sheldon.
Amy: That's nothing Sheldon hasn't done before.

Howard: We did raise the roof that night.
Raj: Yeah, we totally did.
Howard: Why do rock stars do drugs when this feels so great?