Leonard: Am I like the dryer sheets of your heart?
Penny: Better. You're the lint trap of my love.

Dave: Well, no need to be nervous with me. I'm just a harmless giant from a foreign land.

Amy: That's Sheldon.
Dave: You're kidding! How's my hair?

Sheldon: Amy, there was a song I couldn't get out of my head. Eventually, I realized the song was about you, and like that earworm, I can't get you out of my heart. So, what I'm trying to say is, you're my heartworm. The metaphorical kind, not the poodle-killing kind.

Sheldon: Amy, if you want to be my girlfriend again, I really want to be your boyfriend.
Amy: I really want that, too.
Sheldon: Good, because I love you.
Amy: I love you, too.
Dave: Kiss her, you brilliant fool!
(Sheldon kisses Amy)
Sheldon: Well, I'll let you get back to your date.

Dave: Okay, then. I'll, uh, see myself out. Amy, thank you for dinner.
Dr. Cooper, pleasure to meet you, sir. Uh, if perhaps sometime you have a spare moment, I'd, uh, love-love to discuss physics, or shoot the breeze, as you Yanks say.
Ah, what a lovely evening.

Raj: Have you guys seen this feature that lets you talk to Siri without pressing any buttons?
Howard: No. How does it work?
Raj: You just say, uh, "Hey, Siri, what time is it?"
Siri: The time is 6:37 p.m.
Howard: So now anyone can control your phone? Hey, Siri, show me pictures of naked grandma butts.
Raj: Nice try. It only recognizes my voice.
Howard: Oh, cool. (Imitates Raj): Hey, Siri, show me pictures of naked grandma butts.
Raj: I don't sound like that.
Siri: Here are some images of naked grandma butts.

Sheldon: Hey. Good news, everybody. Now that I'm no longer with Amy, I have an extra ticket to the annual Thanksgiving lunch buffet at the aquarium cafeteria. Who wants it? You realize you won't be going alone. I'll be there the whole time. Providing fish and pilgrim facts.

Bernadette: And Raj and I are volunteering at the soup kitchen, feeding food to the homeless.
Sheldon: Well, Howard, what about you?
Howard: Oh I can't. I'm going to the soup kitchen, too.
Bernadette: You said that sounded like the worst thing ever.
Howard: If you can't support me when I'm lying, why are we married?

Amy: Hi, Sheldon. What's up?
Sheldon: Well, I'm calling because Thanksgiving is coming up, and I wanted to offer you the aquarium tickets.
Amy: No one can go with you?
Sheldon: No. They'd rather spend the holiday with each other than find out if this is the year I finally touch a starfish.

Sheldon: And feel free to tell your guest that the Myanmar catfish is also known as the pilgrim fish. In case the turkey's dry and you need something juicy.

Amy: Sheldon I can tell you want to go, so if you'd be comfortable with it, maybe we could go as friends.
Sheldon: You don't think that will be awkward?
Amy: Well it is Thanksgiving in an aquarium cafeteria, so I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say yes. But if you mean between us I think it'll be fine.

Sheldon: Oh, and forget what I said about the Myanmar catfish. My list of marine-themed pilgrim facts is pretty short.
Amy: Did you know they served shellfish and eel at the very first Thanksgiving?
Sheldon: And there goes my list.

Emily: So, how does this work?
Bernadette: The soup kitchen manager assigns the jobs, and the shifts are six hours.
Howard: Six hours? Oh, God, I don't want to complain for that long.
Raj: Do you ever do anything for anyone else?
Howard: I happen to be a giving and generous lover.

Emily: Are you and I close enough for me to say that's creepy?
Bernadette: We are, and I believe the word you're looking for is eugh!