Leonard: Okay, we saw them. Can we go catch the movie?
Bernadette: Why'd you bring him?
Penny: I had to. We're married now.
Bernadette: Ugh, I hear that.

Amy: We were on a date. Very much like this one.
Dave: Mmm, I doubt it was like this one. I mean, he's a genius, and I wasn't even smart enough to figure out why my wife always smelled of croissants.

Raj: 37 minutes left until the deadline.
Sheldon: Someone will show.
Howard: And no matter what happens, this is still a fun experiment.
Raj: Not as fun as the night we blew up grapes in the microwave. We really have led full lives.

Raj: Maybe you don't want someone exactly like you. You know what they say: opposites attract.
Sheldon: Well, by that logic, I should be with someone short, dull and needy, eh? Not to cast aspersions, but I can't shake a stick around here without hitting that.

Dave: You know, I once drove 500 miles to hear him speak at Stanford.
Amy: I have a DVD of that lecture.
Dave: Really? Wasn't it great?
Amy: Not as a Valentine's present, no.

Dave: Well, the next time you watch it, I'm the bloke who asked the question that he said was stupid and obvious. It was the nicest thing he said to anyone there.
Amy: That's, um, terrific.

Penny: Oh, my God, they're coming right towards us.
Bernadette: We got to get out of here.
Penny: Okay. Well, wait, what about Leonard?
Bernadette: He and his tiny bladder can take the bus!

Dave: OMG! Aren't you Leonard Hofstadter?
Leonard: Yeah.
Dave: I saw you speak at Stanford with Sheldon Cooper! Amy, can you believe it? It's Dr. Leonard Hofstadter!
Amy: No. Pinch me.
Dave: It's an absolute pleasure to meet you. Can I shake your hand?
Leonard: I don't know if you want to do that, I was just-
Okay, never mind.
Dave: Amy, I'm never washing this hand again.
Leonard: You really should.

Raj: 60 seconds. This is not looking good.
Sheldon: One minute is a long time.
Howard: I've been telling women that for 20 years.

Sheldon: What if it's Jennifer Lawrence?
Howard: What?
Sheldon: Oh, that last Hunger Games was not my cup of tea.
Howard: You thought she was great in X-Men.
Sheldon: Oh, fine. I won't shut my heart to the love of Jennifer Lawrence.

Howard: Maybe she's waiting to show up at the last possible moment.
Sheldon: Ugh, sounds like a drama queen. Oh, no. It is Jennifer Lawrence.

Vanessa: And I don't need to tell you, there aren't a lot of men who love physics, archaic languages and flags of the world.
Sheldon: I am a bit of a unicorn.

Raj: How could you send her away?!
Sheldon: She was late. And she found atomic spectroscopy boring. I wouldn't coitus her with your genitals.

Leonard: Did you hear about this study that found people that were cool and popular at 13 have problems succeeding later in life?
Raj: Hmm. I'm doing okay, and I was very popular at 13.
Penny: In school?
Raj: Oh, no. At home. The servants would sing to me, laugh at my jokes. I wish I knew their names.

Penny: Does the study say what happens to the unpopular kids?
Leonard: You tell me. You woke up in bed with one.